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170 points

The werewolf I understand entirely. They’re both awkward, horny kids trying to find their place. The century old vampire creeping on a teenager is where it gets weird.

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107 points
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The werewolf “imprints” on Bella’s unborn vampire baby later in the series, so fortunately the scales of creepiness end up balanced between Team Edward and Team Jacob.

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35 points

She didn’t know how else to resolve the local wolf/vampire conflict so she could escalate the threat level to the euro trash vampires.

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8 points

Casually outting yourself as having read the books.

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21 points

He literally falls in love with a god damn fetus

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32 points

Yeah, this is the part I can’t get past. WTF is Edward doing creeping around underage girls all the time?

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38 points

I always assumed vampires are sort of stuck their age mentally as well, for the most part. They can get more wisdom and knowledge but emotionally and sexually they’re whatever age they got turned in. So a 200 year old vampire that got turned at 17 is basically a 17 year old in that way.

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54 points

Sounds like something a vampire pedo would say.

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13 points

So where does that leave 2000 year old vampire lolis?

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2 points

That’s a pretty good theory. It still skeeves me out though

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24 points

Tbf when you’re a centuries old vampire, everyone’s too young for you

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26 points

Not particularly. If you’ve ever discussed anything of substance with an amateur colleague in your field, you might find novelty in the fresh perspective or even some minor nostalgia. When they meet, Bella is less than a colleague of life. She is a strangely shaped Labrador, which is fitting in that he grooms the shit out of her.

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19 points

You could at least stick to young adults and older instead of high schoolers

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9 points

The original “What we do in the shadows” addressed that pretty well, when protagonist started dating his old crush when she’s a 70+ year-old woman and has to apologize for being a bit too old for her.

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7 points
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And who would have expected that Jacobs place happened to be in prison, where he should go after falling in love with a literal newborn

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8 points

it’s not his FAULT your honor he couldn’t HELP but form a love bond with an unborn vampire baby your honor you’d understand if you were a werewolf your honor

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Memes

!memes@lemmy.ml

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