I recently moved to the USA, from the middle east. My English is pretty good, and I don’t have a lot of trouble communicating with people at work or in stores. I also don’t know anyone here at all, outside of work. All my family is still back in Gaza, and I’ve been here over a year now, and still feel cut off from American people and culture.
How do you make friends and socialize here? How do I learn more about America and Americans culture? I know a bit about history, but not much about anything else.
I don’t drink or go to bars, for religious reasons. I have joined a couple of clubs based on hobbies, but still feel disconnected. I’m not sure how you socialize or meet new people here, in my family everyone came around your house all the times of the day, and here it seems like neighbors just stick to themselves. I don’t want to bug people or anoy them if that is not the customs here.
Also, what are your favorite parts of American culture and history? So far I have enjoyed Nascar and monster trucks very much, and studying mathematics.
The American social fabric is very damaged. As a result of focusing on isolation, the suburban lifestyle prevents most Americans from being communally minded.
The only places that Americans mix with other people tend to be:
- Work
- School
- Bars
- Church
- Social clubs
School is where most people make their lasting friendships, otherwise work is far and away the most common of the other 4.
In my experience social clubs are the easiest place to approach someone you don’t know, second only to church… but most Americans are task oriented thinking only about completion of their “task” at whatever function they attend. (I’m here to play soccer, after the soccer game my task is complete so I’m leaving).
Small towns sometimes have friendlier and more approachable people but generally will be fairly insular and suspicious of outsiders… not to mention the drama that tends to fester in those little pockets.
All of which is to say: socializing in America is a complete mess and it’s mostly driven by echoes of the cold war paranoia/white flight/sensationalist crime obsessed news that gutted our cities and made everyone suspicious of each other.
