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213 points

The Bible

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12 points

Just popped in to find and upvote.

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3 points
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41 points

The trick is to jump around like a choose your own adventure.

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8 points

When I was in elementary school I actually tried to just read the bible. I didn’t get very far through Genesis before I gave up.

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14 points

You didn’t even make it to the part where a man of god uses nature magic to summon bears to kill 42 children, or where a guy is mad that a father gives him the wrong daughter as property that he combines genocide with animal abuse!

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-3 points
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That first bit is part of the Apocrypha. It’s not in the official bible.

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9 points

For me, nothing tops the guy whose neighbors want to rape the angel that came to visit him, so he offers the crowd his daughters to rape instead.

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