Bonus points if it’s usually misused/misunderstood by the people who say it
“Everything happens for a reason”
The cancer disagrees.
I actually love this one, because it’s technically correct but not in the way people who use it mean, so you can turn it around easily.
Yes, you did get cancer for a reason. Because you insisted on maintaining your suntan every winter. Or perhaps merely because you pissed off the wrong banana.
In my case, it was through no action of my own and merely bad luck. So the only “reason” would be bad luck or a shitty all-powerful deity.
That’s the malicious banana. Everything happens for a reason, but that doesn’t mean it’s reasonable
I mean, technically it did happen for a reason. Your body hates you.
Also, my sympathies for your condition.
To be fair I’ve been abusing with alcohol since my late teens. So I guess we’re even now.
Or worse: “it’s all part of God’s plan!” every time something bad happens. “So… God’s a sadist, or what? Cuz his plan is shit.”
Or the related one: “I’d like to thank God for coming through this surgery.”
What about the doctors, nurses, and various other staff members?
As a surgical tech, I have to bite my tongue when this pops up. Like… bitch, your god sent you to the OR in the first place - you should be pissed!
