I’ve been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don’t move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I’ve taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don’t get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven’t read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I’m able to keep alive at all is because I haven’t moved out of my parents’ house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn’t a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.
Since I can’t blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.
How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?
OP: Please don’t put yourself in physical danger in the hope that it will magically cure your mental illness. Camping is a fine hobby. It is not a substitute for professional medical care.
Encouraging suicidal behavior is not a responsible way to address people with symptoms of major depressive disorder.
It’s not suicidal behaviour, it’s the opposite, it’s living.
I very much get where OP is coming from. In this situation, it feels like others are living for you, so you lose your purpose and your drive. You need to take action, but you can’t because your circumstances don’t necessitate it.
So you change your circumstances. You place yourself in a situation where you need to take action to survive. And by taking action, you get used to taking action. This is how you build discipline and motivation.
Not to mention it’s not really dangerous because you can just go home at any time.
The mod removed it but I’m assuming this is kinda the daredevil route?
Not trying to insult just curious as to the thought method in your initial post.
I’ve heard this called the death ground strategy by Robert Greene. There’s probably a lot of merit to the idea.