A Detroit synagogue president was found fatally stabbed outside her home Saturday morning.
Samantha Woll, 40, led the congregation of Isaac Agree Downtown Synagogue. The synagogue confirmed Woll’s death Saturday in a statement writing, “We are shocked and saddened to learn of the unexpected death of Samantha Woll, our Board President.”
“May her memory be a blessing,” the statement continued.
Authorities said a 911 call was made to Woll’s home early Saturday, reporting an individual lying on the ground unresponsive. Police discovered multiple stab wounds on Woll’s body and found a trail of blood leading to her house, where they believe the crime occurred.
An investigation is underway. At this time, the motive for the crime remains unknown.
- Attempted robbery
- Hate crime
- Targeted attack by someone with a personal vendetta unrelated to Woll’s religion
- Random attack by a nutter
Among any number of other potential motives. There’s a definite hierarchy of probability but random blind assertions in public are not how you build an actual fucking criminal case.
Nope. All available evidence you need is in the article, didn’t you read it? Her religion. That’s it, case closed.
But… I guess if that’s somehow not enough, we could just to sprinkle some crack on her.
Edit: I assumed the Dave Chappelle sprinkle crack callback would make the sarcasm clear. Apparently not.
When you take everything you read literally and as Very Serious Business, do you do it as a studied effort, or are you just like this?
I know it’s sometimes hard to decipher sarcasm from written word, but holy shit people took your joke insanely seriously.
Stay away from stand-up comedy, someone might discover you own a PlayStation as well.
FWIW, I chuckled. What a sad fucking story and what a sad fucking state that you’re consoling humor went so unappreciated.
Or maybe sarcastically implying that a murder was a hate crime when we know literally nothing about the situation is a shit joke. Immediately screeching like a toddler after very mild pushback isn’t a good look either.
