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44 points
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Green

I can handle being the weird dude that takes super loud shits in public bathrooms. That’ll just make people leave me alone.
I can’t handle making my girlfriend feel like shit every time we’re intimate. That would be debilitating to our relationship.

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7 points
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I’d take *red, easy. I’d just explain that it’s just a thing that happens once and I’d be set.

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5 points

also like… many people already live with it lmao

the absolute state of people’s digestive health

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6 points

Whoops I meant red. I’d explain the crying thing to my wife once and be done with it.

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2 points

Green will quickly result in having no girlfriend though, unless you come up with some scheme to allow you to never poop in the same building as her.

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2 points

Or you explain it

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1 point

I don’t mind a bit of construction work. Wouldn’t be hard to tear down the drywall in the bathroom and pack the stud walls with Rockwool soundproofing insulation. And also swap the door out for a double-thickness solid core sound-deadening door with a sealing sweep. That’s like a couple weekend’s worth of work max.

Also she is an absolute saint and would probably be fine dealing with it to stay with me.

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