Hi, as the title says I’m a new developer and some days ago I was diagnosed. My diagnose journey started because I’m unable to be consistent (That’s not something new) and it is making me really depressed.
I just spend all day doing nothing and some day I just write most of what I have should written. Some days I force myself to code just to see all letters as blurry meaningless symbols and then I come back to square one where I procrastinate. Now I’m working from home, but when I go to office this gets 10 times worse.
I will be making an appointment to get medications soon, but does anyone have some additional ways to fight this?
EDIT: Thanks everyone that responded the call for help! To people that resonate with this post, please read these comments, all of them are really useful.
Update: All this post started because of a deadline i was having serious problems to reach.
If you are in the same spot as a new dev: What happened to me was that I was facing a really complex issue in which we lacked a lot of information and when I started to ask some key questions everything started to flow again, my main blocker was communication.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I should have focused on understanding rather than trying to solve.
I am not a developer by title but I do write a lot of code and the best thing I did for myself was learned to just work when my mind feels like it. I seem to get way more done when that is the case even with meds. I realize that is way easier to say than to do and it is even harder depending on your job but finding one that has this philosophy as well will make a world of difference.
That said, it hasn’t and still doesn’t doesn’t always work out that I get to work when my brain feels like it but I try to recognize the times it does and it and capitalize on those moments as much as I can and it has worked out pretty well. It was this video that really helped me learn to recognize when I had just built a wall of awful in my head and that has helped me find things that help get over those walls but there are definitely times when I just can’t work on a thing right now and I just do as much as I can, it’s still not fun.
I also cannot get actual work done in an office anymore, especially writing any code, and I don’t think I would take a job that required me to be in an office anymore so don’t feel like you are the odd one out there.
As for meds, they are definitely a game changer for me but I have always found that they give me the opportunity to focus and get to work on something but I still have to be the one that chooses what that is or my brain will randomly pick something and then I know how they make nuclear waste storage containers for some reason. My brain just loves interesting problems and refuses to do anything monotonous so I actively seek those problems out whenever I can to keep it entertained.
Hope that is useful, unfortunately there isn’t one silver bullet and you kind of have to reverse engineer your own brain so find what works for you.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Thanks for your advice! I kind of recognize when I’m on the mood, just it isn’t enough sometimes.
I will check that video, thanks!
Yeah! Her channel is great overall, watching it definitely made me more aware of my brain, definitely recommend.
You actually reminded me of something else I do, I make a conscious effort to not compare myself directly to my peers because then I always feel like I am not working as hard as they are. I finally started doing this after like the 5th manager told me to stop working so hard and I realized the times that I would consider myself 50% productive I get more done than the average coworker does at 100% productive.
Now, I definitely don’t say that as a brag in any way. I am not a classic overachiever I don’t think, I think it just speaks to the way my brain is wired (and lots of ND folks!). I am definitely my own worst critic and I definitely let perfect be the enemy of good when I am building things, I have to keep reminding myself to stop it and that done is not the same thing as matching the “perfect” vision I have in my head.
Anyway, enough rambling from me!
Not officially diagnosed with ADD (on a waitlist though) but autistic, and I second that. I constantly feel like I’m too lazy and yet I got my current job through an internship. It was supposed to last three months and I got an of#er three weeks in, because they were so impressed with my willingness to perform.
I was very bewildered. I still have to remind myself of that when I feel like I’m not getting shit done because my mind refuses to cooperate. What I can convince myself of by now is that those moments are the productivity normal for most people and that even when I’m like that my productivity is high enough - especially because that is usually the moment when I look into things that are not the absolute core of my job.
I’m a test automation engineer, but people explicitly want me to not just automate, but also care for quality topics as a whole, so reading relevant blogs and security news and feeding that back into the team is part of my job.
Still often feel guilty about that, but my boss repeatedly told me I’m absolutely overachieving and fulfilling the job more than he hoped for.
For me, there’s two takeaways:
- you probably have higher standards for yourself that most people, and the moments where your brain cooperates you’re like a racecar compared to a truck, and
- find a niche that interests you is of utmost importance. I was once at an info event for SAP and they said that autistic people are intrinsically motivated and it’s almost impossible to get us motivated with things like more money. It’s definitely true for me, and for my few ADHD friends, though I’m not sure if that is in general true. Accepting this has allowed me to make peace with myself and to take a much healthier approach to jobs than before - “I can work any job, I don’t need my dream job” when I was desperate for a job was the most toxic thing I could do to myself.
