I know very little French but I’m assuming this is a well-localized version of the Navy Seal copypasta
unsure if this is right but here’s the translation -
Oh good mother of God, what did you just say about me? I would point out to you that I finished first in my CAP bakery class in Navarrenx, and I have won the prize for the best baguette in Béarn many times, and I have more than 300 citations in the Republic of the Pyrenees . I received a specialization in pastry and did an internship in a large Michelin-starred restaurant. For me, you are just another customer. I will sell you chocolatines like you’ve never tasted before, remember that. Do you think you can get away with this kind of insults on the Internet? Try again, you big idiot. As we chat, I’m contacting my network of bread houses across France and your identity is shared, so you can prepare for an avalanche of cakes, smart guy. An avalanche that will make you gain 10kg. You’re going to become obese, my little guy.
Too late, you’re French now. Get your baguette and start disparaging other nations, and other French, too.