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Purgatory is a mathematical absurdity. Any finite number divided by an infinite number of years is nothing. What’s the point of getting 30 years for each of your mortal sins and 15 years for each of your venal sins?

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17 points

What’s the point of getting 30 years for each of your mortal sins and 15 years for each of your venal sins?

The idea is that you spent a finite time on earth accumulating sin and so you need to spend a proportional time in purgatory to expunge yourself of that sin, before you can move on to Heaven.

But then once you get to Heaven, there’s still a strict hierarchy. The folks exiting purgatory are recognized as “lesser” and do not receive the Members Only Jacket treatment to which the real hustlers and heavy hitters gain access. You join the spiritual proletariat and become one more lumpen mass of ectoplasmic labor.

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I think heaven is what really did me in early. I got the idea in my head that it was something like you get a dorm room with thin sheets and inadequate climate control. You woke up at 5a, had some gruel, then went to your spot in the celestial choir and sang to God about how great he is. He sits in a giant golden throne in glowing robes, smiling contentedly and nodding. Every now and then he will point to one person and have them do a solo. It doesn’t happen very often, but it does happen an infinite number of times over the course of eternity.

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4 points

Christian Heaven is very sterile. I’m a much bigger fan of the Elysian Fields.

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17 points

ask dante alighieri, he’s the one who wrote that fanfic

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