I’ll just be over here giving myself a handé

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Nah, “baisez mon pote” means “fuck my friend”. A proper translation would be “pote de baise”, although to be honest I’ve never heard it in use here — the more common expression is “plan cul”, which minimizes the “buddy” part but can obviously cover a lot of nuances.

At least that’s what I’m guessing from the TV shows, everyone I know is either in an actual relationship or does not have s*x at all 🤷

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