Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian
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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:
Thinking about how I’ve been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.
That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.
Habits are things that they do without thinking.
They don’t have to decide to do them. They don’t have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they’ve done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.
That system…which I lack.
Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it’s been an active choice. I’ve had to devote thought and attention to it. It’s not a routine, it’s not a habit, it’s something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.
Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say “bless you” when someone sneezes,
It’s because I’ve had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.
It never gets easier.
Just more familiar.
It’s part of my struggle with my weight–exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.
I got lied to about how it would just “turn into a habit”. And blamed, when it didn’t.
Drinking water isn’t a habit. Feeding myself isn’t a habit. Bathing isn’t a habit.
I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.
And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?
ON TIME?
I’m sorry… What?
For neurotypicals… Habits are automated processes? Brains have that function built in?
On some days, it feels like I have to breathe and blink manually.
No, neurotypicals don’t just automatically go exercise. Its a choice they make.
Yep, and not just that either. It’s like that all the time. Ha it’s are just things you do without thinking, like reaching for your phone or wanting a smoke/drink/snack.
Now, choosing to set aside a time of day and a routine for something, like exercise, can help ease the barrier to starting that thing. This is sometimes described as a habit, though it is not, psychologically speaking, a habit.
No, neurotypical people have to think about actions before we take them. We aren’t robots. I don’t automatically get up from the couch, make dinner, and then eat it without thinking about it.
We get distracted and forget things, too. I went to the coffee shop the other day and realized I left my wallet at home.
My brother has extreme ADHD, and it’s much harder for him to manage everyday things. He might hyper focus on something and forget to eat all day, etc, but we both have to consciously do tasks just the same.
If you tell someone to breathe with you, and after inhaling and exhaling a couple times and just tell them that they are now breathing manually they actually just can’t choose to switch back to automatic breathing, so they are stuck manually breathing till they divert their attention with out noticing, it’s funny though
