Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian
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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:
Thinking about how I’ve been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.
That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.
Habits are things that they do without thinking.
They don’t have to decide to do them. They don’t have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they’ve done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.
That system…which I lack.
Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it’s been an active choice. I’ve had to devote thought and attention to it. It’s not a routine, it’s not a habit, it’s something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.
Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say “bless you” when someone sneezes,
It’s because I’ve had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.
It never gets easier.
Just more familiar.
It’s part of my struggle with my weight–exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.
I got lied to about how it would just “turn into a habit”. And blamed, when it didn’t.
Drinking water isn’t a habit. Feeding myself isn’t a habit. Bathing isn’t a habit.
I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.
And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?
ON TIME?
My situation was compounded by some pretty extreme poverty. My family were basically transients in the eighties and we lived in campgrounds. So it’s not like they were taking me to the dentist when I had a toothache. I stayed in school though, and once I went to a field trip to a dentist and learned about teeth and gums, yadda yadda. Anyway when I came back to camp I asked my parents “Hey why don’t you guys ever take me to a dentist” and they straight up said “What? You got dentist money kid?”
lol. Ah. Nostalgia.
Or alternately when you tell your parents about a memory you have from growing up and they get pissy and say, “You survived”.
Sucks. I’m sorry you experienced that.
