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77 points

I would love to create a community on here for men’s mental health and (actual) issues, but I’m afraid it would get invaded by the toxic masculinity crap.

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3 points

there was r/menslib on reddit. Maybe there will be some movement here

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16 points
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Done, wish me luck.

!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world

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Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn’t work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world

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4 points

There’s a sub-reddit called Daddit. It was a great support group for Dads on reddit, either struggling or wanted to share their love for their kids. It’s very doable, you just need to set an example early on for what it needs to be.

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5 points

There was one in reddit that worked well IMO: menslib

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14 points

It’s is a good idea… but it will get hijacked by right-wing grifters. That’s how the whole “incel” thing got started.

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3 points

Toxic masculinity is just severe insecurity and blatant ignorance with a sprinkle of lack of education. Modern day caveman only good for moving logs and building houses. They now think they deserve a place where something educated needs to be discussed and instead of understanding or trying to understand they just spout their bullshit.

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4 points

I’d totally be down for that kind of community.

DM me if you set it up too.

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11 points

Yeah - I haven’t checked Reddit again but there was

Menslib, which was focused on Men related issues and discussing them from an empathetic standpoint. I’d say it were critical social discussion with a clear emphasis on men.

And there was bropill, which was less about longer discussions and more about sharing in general.

I dunno if they are still active but if you start something I’d love to join that community. So maybe write me a DM if you do? :)

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6 points

It would require very strict moderation but it’s feasible…

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8 points

It doesn’t necessarily require strict moderation… but the mods will have to follow the Bartender’s Rule.

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2 points
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This is great! It reminds me of this video which in my opinion everyone should watch who tries to run a community (and everybody else should watch it as well).

The Alt-Right Playbook: How to Radicalize a Normie

Just as a shady bar can be a magnet to not so nice people, a mental health online community for specifically men on a platform like Lemmy (that probably already has a not so diverse user base) is basically a honey pot for people who want to spread certain ideologies.

The video gets reported endlessly on YouTube btw, that’s why it is “age restricted”. :( While it talks about hatred it doesn’t endorse hatred. But for some reason this gets a video age restricted on YouTube while videos which are actively hateful do not get restricted…

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2 points

Yep, exactly what I was thinking about

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21 points

Isn’t this exactly part of the problem? Men have been gaslit into “being a man” on one side, while also being taught to fear “toxic masculinity” if they try to discuss their problems in group/digital settings. It seems no matter how such a community behaves there will always people that push both of these narratives. But they’re not part of the solution, so I’m not sure I’m gonna take them seriously.

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27 points

Guys being gas lit into “Being man” is the toxic masculinity I am talking about.

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11 points

“I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad…”, what actually does people think toxic masculinity is? The one you’re replying to seems to have been tricked into believing that feminists think that all masculine traits are bad. They are actually listening to the enemy of their own self best interests.

I think there might be some overlap causing confusion. Being protective and problem solving are not inherently bad, but combine it with stuff like dominating, controling and not listening to others, and it can be very harmful. So a person might believe that they are just being protective but since they didn’t listen to the other person their actions turns to controling instead.

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-15 points

Why not mental health for all?

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2 points

Honestly, I agree, putting a gender slant on it, unless completely necessary, can easily arecomplicate the situation, as its putting these expectations at the front of mind. I often see this leading either into resentful sexism, or original sin type self-loathing for being a man.

I honesty just think tbe topic of gender online is so toxic, that mixing it in with mental health can cause lots of unnecessarily complications, and makes it easy for third parties to take advantage for their own ends.

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5 points

Because a lot of women perpetuate societal standards of toxic masculinity and make men feel unwelcome

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1 point

Isn’t that all the more reason to have an inclusive space to talk about it?

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9 points
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There’s a benefit to having communities for all and communities focused on the different groups, may it be specific genders, ethnic groups, generations, socio economic backgrounds and so on… The support people need might be similar in some cases, it can also be very specific to who they are in other situations…

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0 points

I’m on the fence about that. The internet seems so fractured, hateful, extremist and identity based, that it seems like leaning into an identity group is going to create the problems it looks to solve, in this case toxic masculinity.

Irl is a different story though.

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0 points

I’m on the fence about that. The internet seems so fractured, hateful, extremist and identity based, that it seems like leaning into an identity group is going to create the problems it looks to solve, in this case toxic masculinity.

Irl is a different story though.

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15 points

Everyone deserves mental health. And everyone deserves a safe space to discuss their feelings and emotions with others in a similar situation. And I don’t want a space strictly for men. A LOT of men need to hear women’s perspectives and experiences. And process what was shared and why it is important. I don’t want men to learn how to be better men. I want men to learn how to to be happier, and better people.

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-2 points
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How can you even dare do suggest such an evil thing? Everybody knows men and women are completely different creatures. There’s no way they would be able to talk about mental health together! /s

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3 points

/s

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18 points

I finally started to address my mental health issues and would love a community like that fwiw

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