Millions of Americans are gathering today with assorted family and friends — each with their own unique, and potentially problematic, political opinions.
Which means it’s also time for the slew of articles telling people that it’s okay to skip Thanksgiving dinner if you think someone at the table might strongly disagree with your politics — or providing tips on how to steer conversations away from current affairs to lighter topics. The message and general consensus seem to be that we should only talk about politics with people who will support what we already believe.
Most Americans agreed on this approach last year — three-quarters said in a survey that Thanksgiving was not the time nor place to discuss politics with family. More recent polling from State Policy Network, where I am a fellow, shows it’s not just at family gatherings that people are shying away from politics. Over half of voters say they have stopped talking about politics and policy with family and friends generally because it is too divisive.
While Americans don’t seem to like the baggage that comes with getting political information from their friends and family, they also have problems with other sources of information. For example, while 46 percent of voters say they have gotten news from social media in the last three months, just 15 percent have a high degree of trust in it. There is a similar pattern for broadcast news.
Because of the trust we have in them, our personal relationships can be a conduit for new information and ideas in ways that can break through the commentary and bias of most news sources. Our friends and family can listen and respond to questions, practice empathy, humanize the other side of the debate, tell personal stories that are likely to intersect with our own lives, and see us as individuals with nuanced views and value outside of our political opinions. But that civil and empathetic exchange of ideas only happens if we actually discuss difficult topics with our friends and family and give respect, instead of just expecting it.
… what a fantastic world the author lives in.
Civil discourse requires both parties to be civil. bringing up politics is more likely to lead to a fist fight than any change in perspectives.
Also, the problem here is that the people that tend to disrupt the festivities, are people with whom there’s a lesser degree of trust. That is to say, it’s the uncle you see maybe two times a year, or the aunt you only see at thanksgiving diner. or the cousin you haven seen in a decade. so that trust isn’t there to begin with.
to be entirely candid with you, it’s best to simply not invite these individuals at all. if seeing them at the holidays is not an obligation one enjoys, it’s perfectly okay to just… not. Because that’s not what a family is.
