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153 points

Back when I worked at Burger King in high school, there was me and a stoner running the late shift. I’m running the drive through and the guy wants a Whopper, plain but heavy, heavy, heavy, […], heavy, heavy pickles. I push the “heavy pickles” button about 7 times. He probably said it 15-20. The stoner starts giggling and says “I’LL GIVE THIS FUCKER JUST WHAT HE ASKED FOR.” He proceeds to put, easily, 100 pickle slices on the sandwich. At this point it’s a pickle burger with a little meat. It goes out the window and we go about our day.

Manager gets a call about 15 minutes later. Guy calls in and asks to talk to the person who made his sandwich. Manager says “sigh, what did he do this time?” Guy says he’s been eating at Burger King for 15 years and this was the first person to make his Whopper the way he wanted.

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18 points

At Beeeee-kay. Have it your way.

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3 points

You rule!

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25 points

I struggle with spices. I make it clear at every Indian/Thai places that they should pretend I am from their country in terms of spice levels. That they literally can not make it to spicy even if they tried. That I want them to gag and cough and cry just being in the same room as my food. And yet all of them fail me.

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10 points

Try Tibetan. It’s a kind of spicy I’ve never experienced before or since. I’m not a huge spiciness fan, but it’s totally different from the spiciness of Indian or Thai food, the spiciness of Mexican food or even the spiciness of horseradish. I do know that I took a Mexican friend to a Tibetan restaurant and he bravely ordered the hottest level of spiciness and said he totally regretted it.

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18 points

At Thai places ask for “pet mak mak”

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11 points

Noted. Thanks

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12 points

The only place that ever puts as many pickles as I want on my burgers is Harvey’s.

As you described, it’s a pickle burger with meat.

You would have made my fucking day, month, year with that burger.

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5 points

Harvey’s is the best. They’ll let you do almost anything with your burger lol

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1 point
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4 points

I hold hope for you that someone makes you that perfect burger.

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