I’m so kooky, just putting this shoe polish all over my face.

So quirky, heading out to be a Christmas minstrel.

Too zany, punching some protesters that want me to stop.

Hm? That is not an article I have read. All I know is something about resurrected pickle babies. And carrots.

Ah, the comment you mean! Well, I’m glad I stopped reading before that part. It’s the only way to stay sane nowadays.

Dutch Santa doesn’t have reindeer.