She gained some weight but she is not fat at all!

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-29 points
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It´s a trap. She seems to suffer from an eating disorder, so if you directly respond to the statement, you can only lose. No matter what you say she will find a way to turn it around. Instead ignore the “I am fat” part and immediately steer away from the topic. Try something like:

I’m sorry, it looks like this is freaking you out. You know it’s not useful to talk about it, right? So, let’s do something to change the mood. Shall we (insert activity you both enjoy) instead?

I wish you both all the best!

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35 points
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‘Tell your gf to just ignore it and not talk about being upset to you’ is a great way to ruin a relationship. A woman being upset is not a trap, and viewing relationships as adversarial is setting yourself up for failure.

ETA: This guy can’t stop editing comments to try to make it look like he had less of a meltdown than he did.

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-5 points
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You (and the others who downvoted my comment) are completely missing the main point here, which is that the gf is obviously showing behavioural patterns connected to a form of eating disorder, like Anorexia and/or Bulimia.

A woman being upset is not a trap

Of course not. However, a conversation about “being fat”, with a person who suffers from an eating disorder is definitely a trap, as long as you are not a specialized therapist.

viewing relationships as adversarial is setting yourself up for failure

I view eating disorders as adversarial, not relationships. Please stop projecting your incorrect assumptions on me.

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0 points

I don’t think you have any experience with eating disorders or women in general. Someone who used to be skinny gaining a bit of weight and feeling fat is not “behavioral patterns connected to anorexia/ bulimia”. And even if it was, how does “this is clearly freaking you out, let’s ignore it and do this instead” supposed to help?

I’ll assume you have the best of intentions in mind, if that’s the case you really shouldn’t be giving advice here because everything you’ve said so far is harmful.

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5 points

I am on blahaj, I literally can’t downvote you.

‘Just don’t think about it’ is a pretty terrible way to deal with eating disorders as well. Which this might not even be the case, as there are plenty of other things that manifest in a lack of appetite, not all of which are even mental illnesses.

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