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The most difficult part is to choose a server/instance. It’s like you want to install GNU/Linux, and you have hundreds of distributions to choose. But after you chose where you want to stay, it’s easier.
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Do you happen to know exactly how that all works and how it matters for individual users?
My understanding, and I might be wrong, is that it really doesn’t matter which instance you join due to federation. I thought the only time it mattered was if one instance decided to cut federation with another, and even in that case it would just affect your ability to interact with the instance that was de-federated.