Lemdro.id

-17 points

10 months ago

That’s what I mean. Some people may be lonely, but others crave to be alone.

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Stamets@lemmy.worldOP

28 points

10 months ago

No, you’re not getting it.

This article is about loneliness, not about being alone. People who like being alone have nothing to do with this article. What you’ve effectively done is come in and say “Yeah I know you guys are really upset and your mental health is totally fucked by this but I’m really happy and this is awesome!”

This article has literally nothing to do with enjoying being alone. It is about the dead opposite of that. That’s what I mean by saying then that’s not being lonely. If you enjoy it then this article isn’t for you. Let the people who it is for actually discuss it without immediately minimizing our pain and stress over the situation.

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-1 points

10 months ago

I didn’t mean to minimize anything, and I’m sorry if it came out that way.

I understand and acknowledge that some people, for one reason or another, are suffering from loneliness.

But I also acknowledge that the opposite has happened to others. They are too overwhelmed by the constant interactions they have, either digitally or face-to-face, and want to distance themselves from these interactions, but often can’t.

Both loneliness and the inability to detach from constant interactions are both quite bad for mental health. It’s not a competition; people from opposite ends of the spectrum are suffering.

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Stamets@lemmy.worldOP

12 points

10 months ago

I’m not sure how else I’m supposed to explain this to you other than this.

This isn’t about you. This is about people who are upset and depressed and need help because of loneliness. You clearly are not part of that group as you keep saying. You claim that you are not here to minimize but here you are, doubling down, and minimizing the suffering that lonely people are going through. Not people who are alone. People who are lonely. Not people who are enjoying solitude. People who are lonely. Not people who are dealing with being overwhelmed. People who are lonely.

To put it in another form, you’re effectively walking into an eating disorder clinic and saying “Yeah, this place might be needed for some but I mean for a lot of us it’s an outlet.” Do you get it now?

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Beachgoingcitizen@lemmy.world

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2 points

10 months ago

This dude aint minimizing anyones suffering. I can imagine that people who are overwhelmed by the rigours of modern living and need to retreat is one of the contributing factors to a fractured society that results in lonely people.

The article even says at much.

Dont hate on this person for acknowledging that the people respond differntly to the same broken system. Everyones hurting man

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ANGRY_MAPLE@sh.itjust.works

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11 points

10 months ago

It’s good for that person that they aren’t feeling the loneliness mentioned in the article, yes. The poster IS feeling that loneliness, though.

Was it necessary for that person to say that in response to someone who is saying that they are having those bad thoughts and feelings? Probably not. Are they a bad person? Probably not.

“I feel horribly lonely” “I don’t feel lonely. In fact, I loved the aspects of life that caused you to feel this way”

(The above might be how it comes off to some people.)

I mean, it’s good for everyone who doesn’t feel lonely, but that person feeling good still doesn’t really help people like the poster who do feel lonely.

I don’t think the commenter is wrong necessarily, but it should almost be expected to get less than happy responses from the OP, especially with the context.

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Stamets@lemmy.worldOP

7 points

10 months ago

I give up.

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-6 points

10 months ago

This isn’t about you.

I didn’t realize that it was. I never said that it was.

This is about people who are upset and depressed and need help because of loneliness.

Yes, I understand that completely.

To put it in another form, you’re effectively walking into an eating disorder clinic and saying “Yeah, this place might be needed for some but I mean for a lot of us it’s an outlet.” Do you get it now?

No, I haven’t, and it’s strange to think that anyone would get that from what I wrote.

I was merely acknowledging that there are two extremes to this mental struggle: loneliness, and people who are overwhelmed by having too much contact. Neither is worse off than the other, neither is suffering more than the other, mental illness isn’t a competition, anyone who is suffering needs their own form of self-care and attention.

Without wanting to offend anyone else, that’s all I have to say.

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Perfide@reddthat.com

6 points

10 months ago

I was merely acknowledging that there are two extremes to this mental struggle: loneliness, and people who are overwhelmed by having too much contact.

And that’s the problem. While those two extremes do exist, this post is not about people overwhelmed by having too much contact, it’s about literally the exact opposite. OP made this post looking for support and validation of the loneliness they feel, and your first response was essentially “Yeah that’s sucks for you, but I and many other people desperately crave the thing you suffer from”. You’re not wrong, the issue of people feeling overwhelmed is an equally valid issue, but there’s a time and place to bring it up, and this post wasn’t it.

My piece of advice is if someone presents an issue to you(or in this case, lemmy at large) and is looking for support or advice on the issue from you, avoid contrasting their issue against other issues at all costs. No matter how well intentioned you are(and I DO believe you were well intentioned, fwiw), at BEST it will come across as “that sucks but others have it worse” and at worst it can come across as “that’s not an issue most people have, so thinking it’s an issue means you are the problem”.

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3 points

10 months ago

This makes sense, and I appreciate you taking the time to write it. I will be more mindful in the future. 👍

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Kecessa@sh.itjust.works

8 points

10 months ago

If you want to be alone so much you should stop replying to posts by trying to make them about yourself.

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HeartyBeast@kbin.social

3 points

10 months ago

You might havwe well posted “Some people don’t like cheese”. It’s not relevant to this article

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-2 points

10 months ago

Mental illness is a spectrum disorder. If you only isolate or focus one form of suffering (i.e. loneliness), then you’ll never find a solution or get past the problem.

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HeartyBeast@kbin.social

3 points

10 months ago

Yes. But ‘what about agoraphobia?’ Isn’t particularly helpful when a group of people are trying to talk about claustrophobia

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-2 points

10 months ago

But ‘what about agoraphobia?’

Simply acknowledging agoraphobia provides more understanding and empathy for those experiencing claustrophobia.

The discussion about agoraphobia could end there if the focus is addressing claustrophobia specifically, but it is helpful to know where the two extremes of the spectrum are.

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