I already know the replies are gonna make me feel sad π
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I think I got seasonal depression and my heart literally physically hurts anytime Iβm particularly sad (no medical emergency). First time in my life Iβve felt lonely after enjoying solitude forever, tho I suppose I always hung out with friends a lot more often. Not the first time Iβve been uncertain and scared about the future. Tried to cry and canβt either. Somehow much worse than the deaths of my grandparents.