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93 points

Align the two apples so they’re off center to one another. One has 2/3 on the outside to the left, 1/3 to the right, the other 2/3 to the outside to the right, 1/3 to the left.

Bird’s eye view, the single line cutting both apples will leave us with the left 2/3 of the first apple and the right 2/3 of the second, and a third portions made of 2 thirds, or another 2/3 of an apple.

One cut, 2 apples, 3 equal portions.

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54 points

Visualisation.

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35 points

Those are some weird looking titties

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16 points

Get yo ass to Mars

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35 points
*

Easier:

(…|.)

(…|.)

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25 points

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5 points

So from what I see here, if I slam the knife down on both other people, I get 2 apples?

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1 point
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43 points

You could simply murder one of the players

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18 points

You know, that does sound easier than aligning some janky-ass shaped apples just right.

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15 points

Is that not the joke? Am I a psycho now?

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6 points

Not alone, I assumed that was the joke here.

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2 points

In a single stroke? With 1d4 damage?

If you have a wizard in your party, I guess.

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29 points

No need to align them like that. Just place them one behind the other and cut off one third on the side (with a single stroke).

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3 points

But which one is lawful good and which one is chaotic evil?

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13 points

They don’t have to be aligned off center from each other, just as long as you cut a third off of each in one stroke.

Alternatively, one person just stabs one of the others, and the two survivors each get a whole apple.

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8 points

Dumb question, how do you make two apples off center from each other?

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2 points

You’re right that they’re off-center from a first “symmetry line” you have to draw.

So: you place them on your cutting board. Trace an imaginary vertical bird’s eye view that passes by the center of both. Now based on that imaginary line, move both apples so they’re offset 2/3-1/3 from that line in each direction.

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6 points

I thought about this at first but then two people get the core as part of their portion and one doesn’t :(

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7 points

Lay them on the side and cut through them horizontally, everyone gets core

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4 points

Simple solution to that is the cores are a problem for the two people that aren’t in possession of the knife.

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Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs

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