LOS ANGELES — Legendary metal musician, and noted septuagenarian, Ozzy Osbourne broke new ground when he became the first old white man to complain about a rap song and actually be on the right side of history.

“This is the first time we’ve ever seen a person of Ozzy’s age, wealth status, and complexion complain about a rap song or artist and actually be correct. Especially when they say it in an all-caps Tweet,” said music scholar Aiden Lawrence

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What the fuck did you just call The Prince of Darkness? What the fuck? Fuck you!

“My husband was recording gold records while you were still wanking it to the cover of sports illustrated magazine.”

–Sharon Osbourne.

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