If I served my friends soda, they’d not be friends anymore. This establishment isn’t a Chuck E…Cheese and if all I have in the fridge is soda, you’re getting iced water or tea/coffee.
Imagine being too lazy to tend to your guests with what they request, and too cheap to lose $0.08 of your 2L coke. “this ain’t no fancy shit like the rat house, and get your ass your own tp too. fuck washing your hands on my dime, the fuck is this, sears? 50 cents for 5 seconds. wifi? Cent a megabyte. bed? no. get the fuck out at midnight. that includes you babe!”
You prob the kinda guy who would charge $0.54 a mile for ‘business wear and tear’ reimbursement even though your Prius costs $0.16 to go the same distance - and you’re just driving your friend home. Who lives on your street, and you were headed home anyway. “It costs money to be in my aura of greatness! Seatbelt $25 btw.”
If you come into my house, you get water, beer, juice, kombucha, wine, at least five tea options, coffee, or even a scotch if you want.
Cheap would be offering them something that’s full of sugar, artificial flavour, costs me fuck all, and usually comes with a Happy Meal. I don’t insult my friends like that and they wouldn’t do it to me either.
Step up your game. It doesn’t cost much to be a good host.