I wouldn’t call it appropriation. Appropriation would be claiming those weren’t Jewish prayers or a menorah, they were Christian (or whatever).
A non-Jew saying Hebrew prayers doesn’t offend me. My non-Jewish wife has done it before because she got a masters in folklore and wanted to take part. She didn’t claim it as her own, she just took part in the ceremony. And plenty of non-Jewish spouses of Jews have done the same thing.
Honestly, if you’re curious and you want to take part in Jewish ceremonies, go for it. Judaism is not as closed as you think. If it was, you wouldn’t have famous converts like Sammy Davis, Jr. and Isla Fisher (and Ivanka Trump, unfortunately). It’s not a simple process like turning around three times and saying “I’m a Jew!” but it’s not exactly a ridiculous challenge either.
A non Jew saying Jewish prayers is absolutely appropriation. There’s a rather clear line of thinking surrounding this in the greater Jewish community especially amongst the rabbinical crowd, and the Messianics are a rather large part of it.
Rabbis aren’t popes. They don’t get to decide what is or is not offensive to Jews in general. Sure, very religious Jews might have a problem with it. And I could not care less what they think. Especially when they’re the minority in the U.S.
62% of self-described American Jews say being Jewish is mainly a matter of ancestry and culture, while just 15% say it is mainly a matter of religion. Even among Jews by religion, 55% say being Jewish is mainly a matter of ancestry and culture, while 66% say it is not necessary to believe in God to be Jewish.[3]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_atheism
Do you honestly think most Jews would have a big problem with my wife saying a blessing over the menorah when most of them don’t even think you have to believe in a god? I guarantee you more Jews were offended by Bradley Cooper playing Leonard Bernstein with a prosthetic nose than they would be over a non-Jew saying a Hebrew prayer.
Rabbi’s aren’t Pope’s and they’re born to argue so when the vast majority of them clearly state that a non Jew saying Jewish prayers is contrary to the principles of the religion then I’m going to accept that as a religious decree.
So yea your non jewish wife saying the bracha is a problem. You’re welcome to practice as you see fit, no one’s going to pull your Jew card over it but that doesn’t make it halacha/Kosher/ cool or any other version of acceptable.
