McConnell, who turned 82 this month, is announcing the decision in a speech on the Senate floor. […] McConnell said he plans to serve out the remainder of his term as a senator, which ends in January 2027.

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He still might. He could be on the floor of the senate giving a speech on whatever the fuck that’s broadcast live and just die. Here’s to hoping.

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7 points

Some party of adventurers needs to find his phylactery and destroy it, ending the reign of terror of Lich McConnell.

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