Last year someone gave me a pair of Sennheiser headphones—dead ass gave them to me. I was ballin’. I got to be a homeless person with an iPhone 12 and a pair of Sennheisers. And then my idiot friend set off a series of unfortunate events that resulted in the loss of my headphones, along with everything else I owned at the time.
So last month when this very sweet devout Christian saw a comment of mine about being a homeless drug addict, and sent me $300. I bought a new pair of Sennheisers on Mercari. I’m pretty sure it was the same model even.
I finally got around to checking my mail and—the headphones are fucked off. They won’t pair or fucking anything.
I had to fight the screaming urge to slam them on the ground.
New rule: you don’t get to fucking police someone’s spending habits if you haven’t fucking given them any money.
Nor if you have, for that matter. Fuck off with that moralism. Even having been homeless yourself does not give you the right to tell people how to live, you sanctimonious fucking pricks.
You often say, “I would give, but only to the deserving.”
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights, is worthy of all else from you.
…
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
Trees give fruits so they can nut in your mouth. Or reproduce wherever you take your next dump.
