Last year someone gave me a pair of Sennheiser headphones—dead ass gave them to me. I was ballin’. I got to be a homeless person with an iPhone 12 and a pair of Sennheisers. And then my idiot friend set off a series of unfortunate events that resulted in the loss of my headphones, along with everything else I owned at the time.

So last month when this very sweet devout Christian saw a comment of mine about being a homeless drug addict, and sent me $300. I bought a new pair of Sennheisers on Mercari. I’m pretty sure it was the same model even.

I finally got around to checking my mail and—the headphones are fucked off. They won’t pair or fucking anything.

I had to fight the screaming urge to slam them on the ground.

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24 points

heard this once in either a book or sermon but it’s always stuck with me as I undo my own bootstrap brainworms

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7 points

What’s this from?

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6 points

I had that screenshot and didn’t have context, so I googled and it’s from Craddock Stories by Fred Craddock. I knew the name because Jeremiah Wright once mentioned him as a preaching giant. Here’s a profile from CNN.

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24 points

i’ve read plenty of different sacred texts in my life and not one says “give alms but only if you can get a full accounting of how it was spent”

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17 points
*

If someone asks for a cloak, give them the shirt on your back also and a QuickBooks invoice to create a paper trail

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16 points

yeah you’re going to want a donation receipt so you can apply for a tax deduction, that’s just how you incentivize the giving of means-tested alms

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