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My next door neighbor has one of those giant neglected murder beasts that sits in the back yard all day and barks non-stop. Every day I leave for work, I have to listen to it barking at me and scrabbling at the fence and wonder, “Is today the day that it jumps the fence and literally eats my face?” (cw: the pictures are not particularly pleasant)

I then get to work, and my coworker, unprompted, for the fifteenth time, tells me that I should adopt a dog and how great dogs are. And I tell him, again, that there is no chance of that happening whatsoever.

Then I log onto the internet on my phone and see, “Biggest red flag? When someone doesn’t like dogs. I mean what kind of freak would you have to be not to like heckin puppers? They’re so wholesome! Better than people!”

It is no wonder that there are places where people vent about not liking dogs.

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the_dunk_tank

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