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39 points
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“Oh, you can’t afford to send your child to school? Well the coal mines are always hiring if you need to get them out of the house.”

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29 points

Soon, an editorial headline:

Americans’ bills are piling up; could chattel children be the answer?

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9 points

See also: Republicans have repealed child labor laws, but is that really a bad thing?

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2 points

The children, they yearn for the mines.

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