Personal background: I strongly feel just about everyone grows up and has something shitty about them. I know growing up I definitely thought and said some less-than-ideal jokes about women, minorities, etc. And while some of that was the proverbial ‘the times’, and some was growing up in a sheltered hyper Christian southern American conservative situation, I regret my actions and am happy I grew past that. And I do think people, especially younger, can grow past their shittiness, especially with the help of others, which was true for me too… When I got my first W2 job a superior I looked up to helped mold me into a better person by calling me out on things and modeling a better behavior.

Current situation: I’m now the supervisor position, have been for a decade (retail is a trap) and I’ve taken that to heart, calling out jokes that aren’t funny, etc. But recently we hired a new kid who acts really incel-ish, and who apparently has attached himself to me instantly. I’ve had moderate success so far just telling him his ‘lol women dumb’ jokes aren’t funny, and modeling how working with women is… normal? Anyways, I don’t wanna screw this up so do y’all have any suggestions for me to help keep him from going down an unfortunate path? I know at the end of the day I’m not responsible for others’ routes in life, but I feel we should all do our parts.

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44 points

Maybe push him to try and become friends with a female coworker.

Please ask her before you use her to teach a lesson.

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16 points

Encouraging them to seek out a female friend isn’t using the seeked out person as a lesson. What an weird way to interpret that.

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25 points

It sounds like you’ve never had the experience of being the woman used as a lesson, and I’m really glad for you. I’m sorry you think my lived experience is weird! Blessed be.

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1 point

That’s awesome, but it’s literally a “hey, you should go to talk her”

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11 points
*

You gotta admit, you did specify female coworker. You sound well intentioned but I cant say your plan is not without its issues

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8 points

You should really have the decency to contemplate why a woman would not want that before you tell her she’s wrong for not wanting it.

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1 point

Don’t know why you think I didn’t. I work with people and have a lot of girl friends. I know very well how they think and empathize well. I’m responding to a random username who’s likely perpetually online so I don’t exactly value their opinion.

You also have no idea who I am or my experiences before you assume I’m wrong, just like you say I am doing to them.

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