Usually when someone is venting at me, I feel like I should respond somehow and say something, but I have no idea what that something could/should be. Is it better to just listen or try to comfort them in some way?
Personally, I find that people are most in need of someone to listen to them and validate their feelings. Don’t have to fix it. That was always a mistake I made in the past. I’m a fixer. If I see a problem, it’s my problem and I need to fix it. Just listen and be supportive.
Depending on your relationship with the person, it’s also sometimes okay to challenge distortions or exaggerations. My partner has started doing that for me and it’s been really helpful to reframe my problems.
That last part is what I struggle with as someone whose mind always tries to see things from opposing perspectives whether I want it to or not.
Sometimes my wife will come home pissed off about something one of her coworkers said. She’ll tell me the story and I have learned the hard way that “I think your coworker had a point, because X” is not what she wants to hear from me.
It is definitely situational; someone coming home frustrated and venting, probably not the time to offer suggestions or counterpoints; but a casual conversation when hanging out, then folks are willing to discuss if something was right or wrong.
I learned this the hard way from my wife over many years…
