when i was a child, i had a tendency to extremely hyper fixate on various topics for months, so now that i’m older it just feels like i’ve experienced everything even though I technically haven’t. the fixations are becoming much more quick in terms of cycles / how long they (don’t) last and i spend most of my time feeling bored and empty, just rotting away and feeling entertained by nothing. lately this has caused me to get really stuck in the past, so i spend a lot of time just laying in bed crate digging my own memories and feeling kind of depressed because i have nothing new to be excited by or interested in. it does not help that i don’t really have any long term goals or ambitions either, i just kind of exist.
does anyone else feel like this?
Honestly I guess I am kinda broken in that regard, I miss the constant fixations a lot, I feel so bored and helpless when I have nothin’ to focus on.
I wouldn’t say you’re broken, because if you are then I have to admit I’m broken in the same way 😁
Whether we like it or not, this disease is a part of us both and learning to manage and live with it is an integral part of our lives. You’ll find what works for you one of these days, but the important thing is to not give up and keep trying. To me though, what you describe in your post sounds a little more like depression (Something I also have a great deal of personal experience with).
