Not OP, but the usual reply I see is, because dating companies are incentivized to keep you on their app, not get you a happy relationship, so you need to go through hundreds of dates and thousands of rejections, which can be mentally taxing.
I don’t have the energy to swipe new partners every week, I’m not a fan of hook up culture, anyone I’ve met on the apps keep using the apps while I see them. I’m not super big into social media and frequently don’t have service at work, I’ve had people on the apps complain 20+ minutes is unacceptable as a response time. I don’t take many pics of myself to make a good profile. Overall the experience is discouraging and stressful.
I get that, in my experience it was just weeding through the bad ones. I had my fair share of un matches/ghosts/a holes.
I also hated taking pictures of myself and had a mediocre at best bio. What worked for me was not getting emotionally invested in the apps/matches.
The matches that i got and went out on a date or two with i was very up front that i was still using the app. It wasn’t until our 4th date that my partner and i deleted our apps.
Anywho, just wanted to share some hopefully positive advice. You will find the right one for you! Just have fun with it and try not to take it seriously
I have nothing to add, but OMG, it’s like I’m reading about myself, I’m 27 and I gave up on the entire dating apps thingy
anyone I’ve met on the apps keep using the apps while I see them
Especially this, although I never met them in person, I know they’re still talking to someone else, some even sent the wrong messages my way
Yeah I guess I can see that. I’ve always seen the apps as not owing me anything, matches are pretty rare, but it’s kind of fun to get them and chat with random people. Most of the chats never go anywhere but again, I don’t really expect them to. Just putting zero pressure on it has worked for me.
Either I don’t use any online dating and have a zero % chance to meet someone using it, or I use it, and get that up to a solid 1%. Still low, but infinitely better than 0.
Yeah, that’s how i started using them as well, it just increases the odds. I went through a phase of “wanting to be in a relationship” and that was the focus of the apps for me. I would read every bio and then decide if i swipe right or not and think about how we would be good for each other. That was taxing and took a lot out of me emotionally.
Eventually i realized it really is just a numbers game. So i just looked at pictures and if i liked them swiped right. Then if we matched i would read the bio and have conversations.
That being said i was the one that got swipped right on and am thankful to have deleted those apps a year ago. I feel for those that are stuck in the online dating hellscape.
Not OP but I hear so many stories of sexual harassment, of people insisting on having sex when you clearly state in your profile you are not looking for a hookup and calling you names when you do not give in, “sour grapes” treatment for rejection for any reason really (“I just messaged you out of pity!” stuff), of gay people getting messaged by straight ones thinking they can “turn” the gay person… as a woman lucky enough to have never experienced this kind of trash in my life, I am NOT willing to open the floodgates to harassment or this level of rudeness and experience it for the first time.
It helps that although it would be nice to have a partner, I know I could be happy and fulfilled without one, so I’ll never have a desperate need for a partner that pushes me to risk harassment and use an app.
I am in a happy relationship since before dating apps became popular, so I don’t have first-hand experience, but that would be my last choice for finding a partner. For me, meeting someone has always been a matter of circumstance. I never went anywhere with the idea of meeting friends or a partner, so somehow everything just happened by itself and I have a great partner and great friends. I would say you should just follow your interests and try to be happy with yourself, then the rest will come by itself (of course it’s easier if you go to a sports club instead of doing sports with your favorite youtuber or take a pottery class instead of reading a book at home if you have the vague goal of making new acquaintances). Plus openness, honesty and a bit of humor will get you further than any dating app, I’d say.