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141 points

Don’t forget the 4500 emails suggesting you upgrade to slorp pro-premium-plus-max

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7 points
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And if you already did, then you’re really missing out on the pro lifetime plan that includes a lifetime license!*

^(* lifetime license only valid until we release the next version in 2 months)

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19 points

“You have 17 messages in your Slorp-box! Click here to log in”

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15 points
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“Loser McDouchebag from high school recently Slorped! Click here to read it!”

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5 points
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And, after the rebranding: “Someone looked at your BONTO! profile! Want to know who? Get BONTO! Premium and send them a BONTO!-Gram! Only $9,99 for the first 6 months!”

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32 points

Then when you finally upgrade to premium plus max lifetime, the acquisition happens and lifetime licenses get cancelled.

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39 points

You make fun of this but I really had bonto pro-premium-plus-max and it comes with many benefits like not getting these mails anymore

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