I ran out of shampoo the other day and I walked up to my SO and said “I need some of the fake poop.” pause for the punch line ramp up while staring at their confused face “Well, I’m not using any real poop. I need shampoo.”

If the groan and eye roll can power our place we wouldn’t need to pay any bills this summer.

Oh fuck me, this one hurt my soul.

I prefer to not wash my hair with real poo.

groan

I don’t know why people buy shampoo when real poo is free.