yet public policy and social institutions often prevent them from being the dads they want to be
This is what I struggle with. Anytime I do something in public with my daughter, without my wife, I get awkward looks. It doesn’t bring me down or stop me from spending time with my daughter but like…wtf? What would you have me do? Deny my daughter a trip to the park because Mom isn’t available to go?
It’s getting better each year, as more dads are more involved in their families. Had a conversation at work not too long ago where a gen X guy thought it was weird that a millennial dad wouldn’t go to the bar after work because he wanted to spend time with his kid. The gen X guy looked around at the rest of us as if millennial dad was crazy, but he finally realized that he was the odd one out.
I got told off I overcuddle my daughter because I pick her up from kindergarten twice a week (and I drop her off every day).
I can’t wrap my head around the logic.
The logic is men who are so emotionally crippled that any display of empathy or affection threatens their fragile sense of masculinity and undermines their false sense of worth as solely a financial provider, which feeds into their fears of what they’ve missed, so they ridicule and insult as a defense mechanism. Or something.
This is when you wear that WORLD’S BEST DAD T-shirt you got for Father’s Day. If you don’t have one, go to your daughter right now with a blank tee and some fabric paint, and don’t forget to help her hotglue some sequins and jewels!
I’m cracking up at your response because I literally bought myself this shirt out of spite 😂
I wonder if part of it is because more parents are parents because they chose to be. There are a lot of stories from older people where they became adults because they became parents, creating a lot of resentment.
Is this true? Purely anecdotal, but none of the people I know in my age range had children on purpose. Most of them were an “Oops, guess we should get married then…” and THANKFULLY most of those are good parents and their marriages seem to be working out.
Not that this is a bad thing when it works out anyway.
Anecdotally, my friend groups and family were the opposite. I even know some friends has abortions because they weren’t in the right place to have a child.
But if you look at the statistics, parents are having their first child later in life. There are also a lot more childless adults.
I spend more time with my kids because I don’t want them to live what I went through and it’s probably the same for many men.
You are probably right that today, people ask themselves if they want kids, and why or why not. While our parents had more pressure to follow that life style, and our grand-parents had a priest coming to their home to tell them it was time to make another baby.
Back in 1982, a whopping 43% of fathers admitted they’d never changed a diaper. In recent years, that number went down to about 3%
well damn
I love spending time with my kids. Gonna get all the cuddles I can in before they grow out of that stage.
My daughter says she wants to marry me. 🥰
I told her it’s not possible and she was pretty sad, so I told her she needs to find someone who loves her and treasures her as much as dad does (a very tall order). If the person she likes doesn’t live up to those standards then they’re not the right person for her and move on.
I did have to lay down the law pretty firmly to my no wife no kids coworkers who love to live at the office. Family always takes priority over work crap.
Fuck yeah, love my kids.
