78 points

Finnish:

oak month (or central month if you don’t use current meaning of the word)

pearl month

ground month

clearing the forest of trees for field month

planting seed month

summer month (or plowing month by original meaning)

hay harvesting month

grain harvesting month

autumn month

muddy month

death month

yule month

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62 points

Finland would have a higher population if they would just get rid of Death Month.

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42 points

It’s just a name, like the Forbidden Month or the Month of No Return, all the months have names like that in the Season of Terror.

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21 points

No, Finland becomes the Purge for a month, ensuring that only the strongest and craftiest Finns survive. If you see an old Finnish person, better respect them. They survived decades of annual battle royals.

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17 points

As a Scandinavian who wasn’t familiar with Finish month names… Yeah, death month is a much more accurate name than November. Ugh.

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3 points

Finnish month names are pretty damn descriptive. Before we had Yule Month we had Winter Month as December.

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12 points

“clearing the forest of trees for field month”

Favorite month for Amazon forest

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-2 points

It was basically a month when doing slash-and-burn farming slashing and burning happened. Which seems to be August among others today.

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3 points

I’m no farmer, but shouldn’t Planting Seed Month and Plowing Month be swapped? Seems like an ill-advised order of doing things.

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2 points

But if you make it thru death month you get to experience Christmas cheer! It’s even colder but pretty lights!!!

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68 points

Idk why Japan is being credited for being the logical one when they simply copied the Chinese system/characters

Chinese weekdays make a lot more sense as well

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31 points

Any system that does not have 13 months of 28 days each, plus a remainder day to keep pace with the sun, is not logical.

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15 points
*

Having a “remainder day” is weird, but it’s hard to avoid. It really sucks that 365 doesn’t divide nicely into much at all. 5 and 73 are the only non-trivial answers. five 73 day months? Can’t even call it a month at that point.

I guess 13x28 + 1 does indeed make most sense…

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8 points

May as well embrace the weird, cuz we dont orbit in exactly 365 days anyway. So theres gonna be leap year type adjustments anyway.

1 odd day from 13x28 is the perfect excuse for a new holiday too. And avoids having to figure out is it a weekday or not. It gets to be neither, a unique special holiday not tied to religion, nationality, culture, politics, etc (though many oppose it for reasons within those topics).

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8 points

There’s always a remainder day, and it’s not precisely 24 hours. That’s why we have leap years and sometimes leap seconds. You could get rid of that by cramming all of the time into one day of varying length. This year, maybe it’s 29.75 hours. Maybe next year it’s 31. Astronomers and physicists could fight it out and see how closely they can match the previous year.

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5 points

We need to push the Earth into a higher orbit.

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9 points

The Baha’i calendar is 19 months with 19 days, and a 4 or 5 day celebration in between months 18 and 19. The year starts the day that coincides with March 21.

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5 points

If no logical system can be created with missing information, very few systems are logical.

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27 points

Pretty much all of East Asia is a knockoff of China.

Alright, so I assume I started WWIII there, better get to my bunker. /s

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16 points

Nah, you didn’t call it Western Taiwan, you should be good.

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54 points

I just realized that about September-December, that’s mindblowing and hilarious

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39 points

the roman year started on march 1 so thats how they numbered months. English never caught up.

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18 points
*

Neither did other European languages

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6 points

*some. For example Croatian, Czech, Polish and Ukrainian are using local names.

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13 points

Better yet they only had 10 months, and the remaining 60ish days of the year were just 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

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9 points

The Roman year originally started in March (the month of Mars) because that’s when the war season started. January and February were at the end of the year and originally weren’t named at all.

But at some point, the Romans had a problem with one of their politicians. He had a one year term. To get rid of him, they moved the new year to January. It was supposed to be temporary but somehow we’re still living with the results of that lifehack.

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28 points

I hope the guy responsible for that got stabbed

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9 points

Et tu?

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5 points

Petition to rename July to to something derived from Brutus (feel free to help me out with the sound shifts).

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4 points

Bruly

Pronounced just like July

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53 points
Deleted by creator
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51 points

Reiwa 5, everyone knows when all the emperors acceded to the throne, silly.

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3 points
*

It’s not like the “we thought this guy was born on this day (we were wrong)” is a great system but at least it doesn’t randomly reset either like with the Japanese years

Or I hope it doesn’t. Probably would mean end times or something.

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47 points

Polish:

A contacting one
Fierce
War God
A flowery one
Earth Goddess
Maggot (especially cochineal*), but also knawel
A linden one
A sickle one
A heathery one
A shives one
Leavesfall
A lump/clod one

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2 points

You win.

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2 points
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