Tl;dr:
"I don’t want to hear feedback. Just do your job.”
“We value you. But a promotion isn’t in the cards right now.”“
"This is on a need-to-know basis. Information will be shared when the time is right.”
“We can talk about compensation at the next review.”
"We need to fill this role. Let’s not share those details with candidates.”
"I called you last night at 9:00 p.m. Why didn’t you answer?”
"We don’t have time for fun.”
Honestly, it’s missing the following gems…
“We are looking for an industry leading ninja…”
“We’re a work hard, play hard team/company”
I joined a " we are family" company and got shouted at by the founder because I wasn’t a mind reader and didn’t do something I had no idea needed done.
Sounds exactly like family, except I was hired into the position of toddler.
Fuck that noise.
I would also add any sort of variation of “at this job, we’re like a family!”
“Industry leading ninja” is so cringey. It’s like a very out of touch old guy trying sound relevant. I AM an old guy so I have some knowledge here. 😀
Ninja, literally, “invisible”, or perhaps generously, “spy” is such an insane term for a business to use anyway.
It connotates someone who is willing to break the law - kill if necessary- to bring down the opposition. Not someone connecting a new API node for Slack notifications
They probably actually mean Stakhanovite, but wouldn’t bring themselves to use a communist term (/s).
News just doesn’t mean what it used to
Sorry, I couldn’t find a better sub. It’s like misc news I guess? So I just posted it up hoping to get some decent chatter going in the comments.
