105 points

I would if i had curves like dat. With my flat ass, that just looks like shit.

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107 points
*

You, too, can have an ass like that. Squats and lunges will get that booty popping before you know it. Or if a squat rack isn’t feasible, booty bands are also really effective. I rely on those when I don’t have access to a rack.
And then make sure to get your protein for your growing booty. Vanilla or strawberry flavored whey protein in whole milk is fucking delicious. With how good that tastes, there’s no reason you can’t get enough nutrients.

Hopefully this helps! Everyone deserves a juicy ass.

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53 points

Boy that was bootyful advice, thank you.

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31 points

Any advice for non-dairy protein? Lactose intolerant, and the people using the equipment after me would very much prefer if I didn’t shit myself 😅

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21 points

Whey protein isolate. I am also lactose intolerant and while this is slightly more expensive than the most commonly sold whey protein concentrate it prevents the daily pants shitting that concentrate would cause, so it’s super worth the extra 5-10 bucks.

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12 points

Orgain vegan is my preferred protein. I like the simple one that is much harder to find

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10 points

I know you have been given answers already, but look for any Vegan protein. If you want protein powder for example, the vegan ones are usually made of pea protein rather than whey, completely eliminating the risk of shitting yourself from the protein.

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8 points

I usually buy pea protein from MyProtein online. I personally find whey proteins to be way too sweet. The only issue is that it’s thicker, so I need to use a blender, rather than one of those shaker cups.

Find a basic flavor like vanilla, and add fruit (usually banana for me.) You can add a non dairy milk of your choice, if you don’t want to use water. Soy milk works well, and has bonus protein.

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7 points

Locusts

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6 points

Not sure if the whey powder itself has lactose, but most of them can be mixed with water instead of milk. It’s nowhere near as yummy though so maybe replacing with a milk alternative would be better.

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3 points

Whey protein is generally the best protein you can get (in terms of amino acid profile).

There are some good vegan powders but also some real shite ones that seem to have high protein but of low quality. One with a 70% pea protein and 30% brown rice protein blend is about the closest you can get to a whey powder. I’d be skeptical of one’s that don’t provide an amino acid profile table beside the nutrition facts. Good chance they’re inflating the total protein with poor quality sources.

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2 points

Fairlife. I’m lactose tolerant and I drink it anyway because it’s delicious.

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13 points

I am tempted even if thiccer cheeks would probably adversly affect my climbing abilities.

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17 points

Just use your ass to climb, problem solved.

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11 points

No squat rack, Go Rocky IV style. Grab 2 bags of potting soil over each shoulder and squat away. Grab a few gallons of water, bonus grip strength while squatting.

While drive a mile to the gym to run a mile on a treadmill?

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10 points

Or get a bicycle. Nobody has an ass like a cyclist

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4 points

Nobody has an ass like a cyclist

Let me introduce to you the wonders of (ice) hockey players. Specifically defencemen.

Oh lawd you should’ve seen my dumpy back when.

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14 points

Pad those cheeks

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66 points

I have a pair of sweatpants that looks almost like a pair my wife has and I put it on by accident and I was like did I get super fat overnight?

Bottom line I have a big ass and my wife liked it. Context I’m 6’ 2" and she’s 4’ 11"

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135 points

I’m 6’2" and she’s 4’11"

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70 points
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Holy fuck, My wife and I died laughing at this.

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37 points

I’m in a doctor’s office and trying so hard not to disturb everyone around me and it’s not going well.

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22 points

Glad to be of service

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50 points

Bottom line I have a big ass and my wife liked it.

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29 points
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I wish I had as much raw Charisma as “A Bug With A Big Ass”

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12 points

Everybody that reads this: Go subscribe to Dropout

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19 points

I think you just rediscovered yoga pants

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55 points
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when i was very young, men would wear booty shorts and belly shirts like some women do now; publicly shirtless men was also more common; and, as an adult, i wish i could have appreciated it more than i did at the time.

i hate that prudery has become so en vogue these days with the young.

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11 points
Deleted by creator
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5 points
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It was 105 today. That trend might come back out of necessity.

i believe that the cultural shift away from ordinary men letting it hang out publicly happened at a time when air conditioning became less of a luxury item that only the wealthy enough could afford; when awareness that straight men can also be sexualized became common; as well as when this country started to become more conservative politically (ie going from cultural, feminist & sexual liberation movements from late the 60’s going into the 70’s to the reagan & aids-scare of the 80’s leading into big anti-lgbtq & “family values” policies from the federal government in the mid 90’s).

considering that both presidential candidates are right of center in our current overton window (at least much more so compared to the 70’s); air conditioning increasingly being required by law in many places; straight men generally still being terrified of being perceived as gay; and the gen-z tendency towards merely tolerating sex positivity instead of embracing it like in the 70’s it leads me to believe that it won’t come back for a long time, if ever.

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44 points

how do you keep it from dangling out the leg?

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40 points

Short

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32 points

Your Greek ancestors would be proud, king.

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35 points

Have a small dick.

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14 points

✂️

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34 points

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26 points

Tape it back 😋

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10 points

A mere tape won’t hold back my random, but strong erection.

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8 points

Chasity cage it is then

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5 points
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SUPER supportive undies work too if you don’t want to go down that drag-queen-esque route.

men usually wore whitey tighties & jockstraps back in the day when booty shorts were normal for men and those are great at keeping all the bits where you want them to stay put.

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24 points

ooh fancy pants bigger than 2" dick mcgee over here

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22 points

Let it breathe. Assert dominance

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16 points
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Boxer briefs, trunks, briefs, thong, or jockstrap.

Pretty much any underwear except for boxer shorts.

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12 points

Tucking, or if that’s uncomfortable, some people have success with underwear that’s just a size down from their regular.

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9 points

That defeats the whole point of the shorts. The world wants to see that little guy!

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15 points

Then why do I have so many restraining orders against me?

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5 points

Ice it

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5 points

Bottom surgery, just become Transfem.

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2 points
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Deleted by creator
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35 points

My dysphoria would never allow me to wear something like that. I can’t stand anything that reminds me that I’m built like a fridge and look like I’m cosplaying a Sasquatch with alopecia.

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4 points

I think that’s dysmorphia?

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3 points

Both seem to work.

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2 points

I personally don’t think so. It’s more a gender thing than a body looks thing. I’m nonbinary but I haven’t been able to pursue transition for health reasons. So I still look like a cis male. I’m 6’2" tall, my shoulders are wide enough that I legitimately have to walk sideways through some doors to keep from shoulder checking a wall. I’m just large and don’t like being reminded that most everyone that sees me just sees a man.

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