82 points

Of course he’s a changed man. Before he was free, now he’s going to prison. I hope all these Proud Boys are similarly changed!

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19 points

It’s a whole lifestyle makeover! 😆

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53 points

So this smoothbrain has his ‘I am Spartacus’ moment, his 2.5 minutes of fame. As the endorphins wear off and he comes to terms to the fact that he ain’t seeing outside past the ‘yard’ for the next decade. Assuming the genpop doesn’t try to do him for shit and giggles

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-8 points

Oh, they’ll do him in the shitter and giggle about it for sure.

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-7 points

I hope so, unless he’s into that sort of thing.

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21 points

Ah, rape jokes. Stay classy Lemmy.

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8 points

Haha don’t drop the soap haha, whoopsies butterfingers more like buttblasted fingers amirite haha cuz he’s in prison haha rape happens in prison guys

Laugh

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34 points

He’s going to be with his people. Racist make up a lot of the prison population.

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1 point

He’ll be a member of the Aryan brotherhood in no time.

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0 points
Deleted by creator
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14 points

He’s celebrating. He knew he was going to prison, he just didn’t know for how long. The DOJ recommended 20 years and he only got 10, which means he’ll be out in 7.5 (with good behavior and time served).

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-15 points

Pardoned in 17 months.

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8 points

Trump won’t pardon failures.

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2 points

Was this the dumbass that was crying about his daughter being all that mattered to him now?

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2 points

No, that was Joe Biggs who got 17 years

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175 points

I’m surprised the judge didn’t yank him back on that statement as proof that he lied to the court and give him a longer term

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32 points

He’d need to be tried again for purgory which he very well might be

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36 points

I don’t think he was under oath at the time he made that statement, so perjury is not a concern.

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9 points

What if he literally vomited on them? He purged all over the court

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31 points

That’s not how it works. His statement out of court can be used as evidence that his statements in court were false (perjury).

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6 points

But an outburst in court can be considered contempt. The judge could have marched him back in for that one but it probably would have been seen as petty.

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17 points

So he didn’t commit pierogi

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7 points

Lol purgatory might be in his future anyway

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2 points

I read that as purgatory at first and got a little confused

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1 point

I doubt it’d be worth it to pursue. He could always argue he was changed at the time he said it but in between then and now, he changed his mind back.

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47 points

I’m sure that won’t come up at parole hearings. No sirree

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9 points

There is no federal parole. He has to serve up to 85% of his sentence too!

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12 points

Not 100%? That kind of sounds like parole.

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10 points

It’s technically different

(which is the best kind of different)

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149 points

They need the max sentence, every time. None of them are sorry; they’re just telling the judge what they think he wants to hear. They might as well not be sorry making license plates for a decade.

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-64 points
*
Deleted by creator
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44 points

Sending people to jail for decades: the new charade.
-by your local tinfoil hat

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-22 points
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21 points

Oh boy.

What charade is that?

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-19 points
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Deleted by creator
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79 points

they’re sorry they failed. Sorry they got caught, and sorry they’re being held accountable.

what they’re not sorry about is trying to fucking overthrow the lawful government of this country. So yeah.

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11 points

“I’ve learned my lesson, judge.”

“It’s a trick. Get an axe.”

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17 points
*
Deleted by creator
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1 point

Nobody’s talking about mandatory minimum sentencing. I do agree with you BTW.

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8 points

The judge can call a hearing based on his actions, and re-sentence him. It’s already happened to at least one of these chucklefucks

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2 points

Do you have a source for this? Not that I don’t trust you, I just want to laugh at these chucklefucks.

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