I am low on money these days and my life is hell for it. I have to do with substandard everything in my life I recently had an incident where an elderly woman asked me for money while roaming the street with her family begging for money. I had no money to spare, but had I had any, I wouldn’t have given a penny to her (Life is tough, I can’t give away money I didn’t earn)
But, she later said something which melted my heart, “Majboori hai beta!” (Hindi) “We don’t want to do this, but we have to do it son” (now add some emotional value to it), I didn’t know what to do, I was on my cycle and I could feel their eyes on me as I passed them and I just peddled faster with teary eyes.
I didn’t know how to deal with that. i.e., I don’t have enough money for medical necessities or to improve the standard of living of my own life, but I was being asked to spare change by a poor family that was demonstrably in a worse spot than me.
I was always taught that if you give beggars money, they will spend it all on alcohol (not blaming them), and given the number of beggars who have come to be smelling like alcohol and death with wobbly balance, it has been a rule not to provide them with money. Also, let’s not forget, if you’re really poor (homeless and have nothing to lose) and you are really desperate, you are often dangerous i.e., not someone around whom your kids can roam, again, not blaming them. But… I don’t know what is right or wrong in this situation!
How do you deal with external problems you can’t solve around you? What is the moral thing to do here?
edit: This kinda reminds of a story about Jesus where a prince once came to him and told him that he isn’t at peace with himself no matter what he does, and Jesus told him that to get peace he must give away everything to the poor and follow Jesus around and the prince refused (something along those lines).
I know what the most moral thing might be in this case, but even if you tell me that I should give money to those who live in abject poverty, I probably won’t do it as often as I should.
Vote for politicians who support UBI.
I believe everyone will just take advantage of my generosity and so I don’t even bother helping anyone.
Genuinely wondering, what does that even mean? How do you think a person who is homeless or poor would “take advantage” of $5 or food you give them?
It adds up. Especially if you are in a populated city.
I am not saying most homeless people dupe you into giving them money which they later use for exotic stuff, but many do. I really am not blaming them, maybe drugs are the only relief they have in their lives, I don’t know, but I can’t refute the argument that that money would do more damage than good.
In Germany a lot of „homeless“ people are part of some group of scammers and they might even pickpocket you or follow you around.
Fair enough and thanks for answering. I know that can happen sometimes but, honestly, most people are just struggling. They’re not all out to get you.
How do you deal with external problems you can’t solve around you? What is the moral thing to do here?
You don’t, you deal with your internal problems, like classism, ableism, and general ignorance of these people’s circumstances. Instead take the time to understand, learn empathy, show compassion and solidarity, instead of disdain. You don’t have to give people money you don’t have, but the least you can do is show them basic respect (no, homeless people aren’t all alcoholics or addicts, but many of those who do drink or use drugs do so to try and ease the deep distress of being homeless. And no, homeless people aren’t dangerous, those who create a society where they have to exist to keep people like you in line, are). (Edit to clarify: once you care about homeless people, rather than fear and/or look down at them, and understand the many reasons that lead to homelessness, you’d be equipped to actually tackle the systemic issues, but you can’t do that if you refuse to see them)
You are literally a blink of an eye away from being in their shoes, act like it.
Homeless folks aren’t implicitly dangerous or alcoholics or drug addicts (and for the latter two, that’s not reeeaaally your business). Many will turn to substances to ease the suffering in their lives, which is their business and their business alone.
Your 5 bucks isn’t going to turn their life around or ruin it, even if they use it in the absolute best or absolute worst way. But it can ease their suffering, however they choose to use it.
That said, if you don’t have the money to keep yourself and your loved ones at some minimum threshold of “life” then please, don’t feel guilty for not being able to give monetarily. You can acknowledge that guilt, feel it, and let it pass by. Ultimately the system is the thing that is failing them, not you.
If you find yourself without monetary means of supporting the homeless or impoverished, but you want to contribute to the lessening of their suffering, see if there’s any volunteering you can do in your local area that seeks for the betterment of their circumstances. Often your time and your energy are worth far, far more than any extra money you might be able to donate.
