I’m going on my first overseas trip with my girlfriend since we started dating. I worked hard all last year to earn and save money for this trip. It will be our first international trip ever, and I want to make it perfect, memorable, and the best trip of our lives.
I’ve read countless articles online to ensure everything is perfect. It felt overwhelming to the point that my head started to hurt. Fortunately, I found an article that provided a detailed guideline, and it seemed like the perfect guide. My girlfriend and I have been following it, and it has been very helpful so far.
However, I decided to come to this community to seek additional guidance, advice, and tips from you all, just in case the article missed something important. My girlfriend and I would greatly appreciate any travel tips, advice, and guidance you have, as this is our first trip abroad together.
Exactly what I wanted to say. All that talk of “perfection” makes me imagine them snapping and going full psycho because a train was cancelled and they need to book a different one.
To OP: just stop trying to plan that much. A general plan is good. Just be aware things will change and that’s ok. As long as you two are having a good time, the rest really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.
If you want a little psychological trick to make the trip more memorable than it otherwise would be, whatever you think is going to be the most impressive, save it for last. Our memories have a very strong recency bias.
Just want to highlight something you said because it’s something I see people tripping up over a lot in my own life.
As long as you two are having a good time, the rest really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.
Keep in mind that your goal isn’t “experience grey and dismal weather”, “eat a very large burger”, “get killed by a venomous animal” (depending on which country you visit), but your goal is actually “my gf and I should have fun”. If things don’t go to plan but you still had fun, guess what? Things did actually go to plan!
EDIT: but also, if following your itinerary is stressing you out, then feel free to skip a day and just unwind and relax so you’re energised and ready to enjoy the next day
Lower your expectations. “This has to be the trip of our lives, we worked so hard, …” is a recipe for disaster. Things will be different from what you have planned. You will be disappointed by some things, others may just not work out at all. If you get hung up on that, you won’t be able to enjoy all those little moments that make a trip memorable.
If you have to leave the beautiful little Café early because that one big thing on your checklist is closing in an hour and tomorrow you have to leave early for the next stop, you won’t be left with any nice memories, only pictures of things that have already been photographed a million times.
My advice: already make plans for the next trip. Yes, you won’t be making it back overseas in a while, but there is just no correllation between how far you travel, how much you spend and how good of a time you have. I’ve traveled a LOT all over the world and some of my best memories were made in places I could reach by car. The biggest disappointment was a long, expensive overseas trip that was “maybe the last big holiday before we get kids”.
Take the pressure out, this is just a holiday of many more that will follow. Don’t plan too many things in advance, don’t make a list of “must sees”. Make sure that if you like a place, you can just stay a few more nights.
I was recently on a three week trip through Italy, from the alps in the north all the way to Sicily in the south. We stayed for a few more nights on a nice little camp in the middle of nowhere, with no major attractions nearby, just because we enjoyed lying in a hammock and reading a book. We skipped Rome instead.
We’re 21 years old. We are naive, as you can tell. I’m glad that I came here and got some really good advice from you and everyone else. You’ve mentioned in your comment that you’ve traveled a lot all over the world, so I want to request something. Can you please check out this article that we are following and tell us whether it has good advice or not?
Re: pictures of things that have already been photographed a million times
You want to remember your experience. And although the place you went is certainly part of it, when you are older you will be more likely to want to see you and your SO’s past selves having a good time, than a picture of the sights some photographer has captured much better than you have.
Feel free to disregard this advice if either of you are photographers, whether professional or amateur, as you would probably reap more enjoyment from taking that picture than the rest of us, and are probably way more likely to be the person capturing the place better than the rest of us can. And if it is a unique moment or you really think nobody else has put this sight on the internet already, your choice!
I needed to see it explained this way for it to really click for me. I think the part about the pictures of the sights alone being easily found online was what clinched it for me. I can go “see” that again easily, the scarce part is the part where I am there. A picture of me and a loved one at the sight might be valuable to us two no matter how amateur my photography skills. A picture of the sight probably will not be.
But it’s also relevant that some people already know this and still derive a lot of pleasure from taking a picture of the place themselves, knowing that a lot of other good pictures also exist. If you are one of those people who know that you really like taking pictures of it yourself, feel free to disregard this advice! It’s useful for quite a few people (I think most people?) but not universally applicable. Exceptions almost always exist.
I am guessing from context you’re an American going to Europe.
The US is big; distances in Europe is more manageable. However, we’ve packed a bunch of stuff into every square kilometre. Just because you can do Paris, Venice, Florence, Rome, and Naples all in a week doesn’t mean you should. I lived a while in Florence, and I always overheard American tourists talking about how they “saw” all these great European cities in just a day before moving on. They didn’t see shit other than the Eiffel tower and the Ponte Vecchio.
Find a place you want to experience, and try to actually experience it. Go to museums. Eat their food. Visit small unknown places. Walk around. Learn about the place.
Europeans don’t generally love Americans. We mostly tolerate them. We kind of like their culture, but our favourite Western movies are Italian.
This is not an attack, but a fair warning. Don’t parade how American you are expecting people to treat you better - the best you can hope for is that they’ll expect you to leave a fat tip. Try to mimic social codes around you. Don’t be the loudest person around - and if the loudest people around you are Americans, they’re either being obnoxious or you’re in a tourist trap.
Don’t ever brag.
Investigate when you can eat and what you can eat when. Lunch and dinner times vary from country to country and sometimes city to city. If you’re hungry between 14 and 18 in France or Italy you’ll be lucky if you can settle with a sandwich. Restaurant closing times vary a lot too - a Pizzeria in Italy will open at 19, in Denmark it will close at 20.
When in Rome and all that. Macdonald’s might do in a pinch, but Europe is a continent of cheese, wine, beer, and regional specialties. Find out what people eat in the city where you are. You probably don’t want to order a paella in Andalucia; only Americans order bolognese in Naples.
Especially in France, don’t expect everyone to speak English. They might not be very comfortable with it, and starting a conversation in English an awful start. Learn a few phrases. In France, always start any interaction with a bonjour or bonsoir. At the very least learn how to ask people if they speak English in their own language. In many countries their response will be “of course I do”, but chances are they’ll still appreciate the effort.
And good luck!! It’s a wonderful continent, especially if you’re interested in art, food, or history.
Edit: Also, if you’re in a touristic city looking very American or talking loudly in American English, you need to keep a tighter watch on your personal belongings than anyone else around you. You’re being targeted by pickpockets.
This is all excellent advice, especially regarding France. Where I live, which is only 20 minutes from Geneva, you’d be lucky to find anyone outside larger towns who can speak English confidentially. And forget about it if you have an accent other than very standard British or American.
Europeans in general appreciate the small things in life much more than Americans. Like everyone has already said, try and relax and take it all in, rather than rush from place to place trying to cram as much as possible into your trip. Have that second glass of wine, or that dessert that looks amazing, or even that afternoon nap after a long lunch. Trust me, you remember those moments just as fondly as the big ones.
After decades in hospitality I have concluded that yanks aren’t any louder than the Brits or Italians
But what most American men do is put on an affected deep voice to try to seem more manly or whatever, because that’s what they grew up seeing on TV or they’re a bit insecure.
It means that over the general hubbub in a cafe of whatever, you can always hear the American guys, despite them not actually raising their voices
I think American women might have something similar going on. Some of them use their voice differently from what we’re used to in Europe. But yeah, solid observation.
I think Brits and Americans are also badly perceived because people understand the stupid stuff they’re saying. People speaking more obscure languages might have the benefit of doubt.
Others have said it, but I’ll stress it some more. Don’t overplan. Whenever I go somewhere I make a list of all the places I wanna go to and I only schedule one place/day. Two at most if they’re small things. But don’t plan a museum in the morning and then a second place/museum in the afternoon, for example. You’ll never make it to the second place. Or you will but you’ll be too tired to enjoy it.
1-2 places/day are enough. Trying to cram too much stuff into a day will ruin your trip, really.
In the army they say: “No plan survives first contact with the enemy” I believe, right? I think the same counts for trips abroad. You’ll probably get sick in the first days because of all the built up stress preparing for the trip finally releasing, you will forget something “important” when leaving the airplane, the museum you really wanted to see might be closed that week because of renovations, etc.
What I remember most from my trips are those cafes you stumble upon that afternoon you did not plan anything, that sunset on the edge of the river while walking back to the place you’re staying and the best souvenir is that painting you bought from that friendly guy at that market you came across. So, try to take it slow.
More practical tips: try to follow the local schedule. For instance, in Spain don’t try to eat dinner before 21:00 and in France don’t try to go shopping during lunchtime.
Also, take some emergency food for when you cannot find a nice place to eat that still has a spot for two but you are getting really hangry. A bar of some sorts for instance.
And take pictures, but don’t experience everything through your lense. Also, imagine what you would actually like to view when back home. I only take pictures with people on them and not in any tourist hotspots; I can find enough pictures of those online already.
Enjoy!
Yep. Agreed. Unplanned bits are often very memorable. Took shelter in a random café in Vienna and had amazing cakes. My favourite memory from that trip, I think.
Have a broad plan, but don’t fuss about sticking to it too much.
Except the pictures bit. There I disagree.I like taking pictures of touristy stuff and such. Because It’ll help me remember the way I experienced the place. And pictures of stuff in museums because it’ll help me remember what I enjoyed most. I don’t wanna have to look up a list of all the expositions later on in order to find something I wanna review or share with someone.
Piggybacking to add that it will make you feel disappointed when you plan for 5 things and don’t get to them all, or don’t end up fully enjoying them because you were rushing from place to place. Plan some things, but give yourself room to want to take a lot of extra time at one place, or to explore stuff nearby.
Pro tip: trips aren’t perfect. It’s life, nothing will be perfect. BUT learn to roll with things and don’t take it super hard of something goes awry. Some of my best memories and stories are from agonizing parts of trips.
Also, don’t plan out all you time there, leave some free time open to list about. You’ll be there with your SO, you intend to spend quality time with them, it’s great to have open time to go do something that catches either of your attentions rather than dismiss it due to “vacation appointments” like a tourist spot you planned.
Take pictures or memorabilia of whatever suits you, I have pictures of cool mirrors in hotels, or a wonky bathtub. Again don’t dwell too much on making it perfect, the perfect spot, the perfect picture etc. I have a hilarious picture of an SO with a guy running across the shot, I got him in multiple frames. Still some of my favorites from the trip.
Grab some local currency before you arrive so it’s on hand, know what ATMs can allow you to pull money from for free (Bank of america has a bunch of partners all over Europe) and Don’t let the TSA disappear it from your bag.
I really love that pro-tip that you have mentioned. I was too naive to make it perfect, but your tip has changed my perspective on this. Thank you very much for this pro tip.
Also keep in mind that what is perfect for one person is not perfect for another, and we change from day to day. Some days we have energy to do a bunch of stuff, other days we just want to take it easy.
I think the most important part of successful travelling with a partner is to be considerate of each others: Pay attention to what the other person wants, perhaps especially if they need a little break. This does not align well with planning everything in detail. You have to be able to improvise, and to take into account each others needs throughout the travels. :)
