118 points

I met a blind guy who wanted to experience a concert, so I took him to hear Coldplay. He said, “Now I wish I was also deaf.”

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51 points

Go to enough concerts without hearing protection and he will get his wish.

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17 points

I live about 10km from a big festival site. We could hear Metallica playing the other year.

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2 points

Quantity over quality, sounds like Metallica.

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1 point

I’ve been to hundreds and do have the tinnitus but it doesn’t much bother me at all. I rarely go anymore because of unrelated reasons, but it was all worth it.

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7 points

I worry because I hear it gets progressively worse even after you’ve stopped exposing yourself to extreme volumes. I raw-dogged two or three shows that were way too loud to be at without protection and that was enough for one ear to have significantly worse hearing than the other, that’s what finally made me start using those musician earplugs. But apparently I can expect the ringing and loss of hearing to continue getting worse anyways…

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7 points

I can see and I’d be pissed if that was the concert you took me to without forewarning.

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107 points
*
Deleted by creator
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56 points
*

My gran grans favorite “get up and go” songs.

  • My Neck, My Back (Lick It)
  • Magic Stick
  • Put It In Your Mouth
  • Look Back At Me
  • Deepthroat
  • Pussy Monster
  • Anaconda
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49 points

Is your gran single?

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10 points

Pop pop did pass away. Heart attack in bed.

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40 points
*
Deleted by creator
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23 points

I mean, if your husband is dead, it’s kind of assumed that he can’t get pregnant.

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48 points

My wife still struggles with language and memory after her strokes from several years back, but every now and then she’ll break into song with a perfect tune from even as far back as her childhood.

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24 points

Please stop, that’s beautiful. Best of luck to you and your wife ❤️🥺

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7 points

“speak-singing” is a thing some people do to work around language issues, apparently it’s an entirely different part of the brain.

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23 points

I want to get a tatoo that says “Things to play if I have brain damage” or something, then put bands and genres that hit core memories.

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8 points

Get a qr code to a Spotify playlist. This way you won’t have to get laser removal when you want to change a song

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14 points
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Better yet, get a qr code to your own domain that forwards to your spotify playlist so you can change the entire qr code to something else in the future should you want to

Edit: Hell, I might actually do this lol.

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10 points

Better yet just encode the list of songs in the qr code. No need to depend on SaaS

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2 points

This is my new objective today.

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4 points

So that’s gonna be whirling-in-rags (evening) and Mute City (Kyaku remix), respectively, for me.

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66 points

My spouse was admitted to hospital for two weeks and had several geriatric roommates. The nurse asked one of them if she knew where she was, and she yelled “IN SATAN’S ASSHOLE”.

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50 points

Oh so Texas?

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21 points

That actually isn’t even much of a stretch for Texas names. I live near the Devil’s Backbone.

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4 points

So you live just north of Satan’s asshole. Got it.

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2 points

Satan’s asshole in Texas is called Dan Patrick.

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1 point

More specifically, Houston.

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7 points
*

Nurse here: we ask ‘orientation’ questions as part of our assessment

I had a younger patient going through the straights with hallucinations (newly diagnosed schizophrenia)… and I had been asking the same questions (as we do) a lot

So I asked them once again, “Do you know why you’re in the hospital?”. Their response: “Deez nuts!”

I always appreciate a good “Deez nuts” joke, but that one has been my favorite so far. The volition on their face and the shitty smirk; they’re completely tied down with a guard because they would occasionally be violent… but hot damn, that was a zinger.

I counted their response as oriented— they know what they did lol

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2 points

I like that so much! Deez nuts lol.

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45 points

Huh didn’t realize people hate Coldplay so much. Not for me, but I didn’t think they were particularly bad.

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34 points

I could be comatose, damn near brain dead, almost lifeless, and if Rhianna starts singing country I will jump out of the medical bed and throw myself out the nearest window to get away from it.

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8 points

Not a country fan, or not a Rihanna country fan? I’m neither, really, but curious to hear from people with real opinions on the genre, etc

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7 points

I just really hate that song.

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16 points

I love Coldplay, but this is just funny

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9 points

For a while they were like Maroon 5 level over exposed. I don’t think I’ve heard a song from them in a while though.

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5 points
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To be honest that level of overexposure doesn’t happen if you totally suck. It was cool to hate on them for a while though. You know, just like it’s cool to hate anything mainstream or basic, which is honestly a pretty basic way to view art in general. Like literally all it takes to participate is to notice that something is popular.

Edit: Although to be honest the way media companies love to milk songs to death is super annoying and makes you hate the music. You see it today with trending tiktok sounds. I’d blame this more than the quality of the music.

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23 points
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For a short moment I thought she was referring to the life support.

Doesn’t make the joke funnier per se, but a lot darker

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4 points

turns off life support

“HAMMOND YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!”

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