101 points

As an American I can tell you that it’s better to just beat that dead dog. Well, horse really. Elephant. It’s definitely an elephant. Now get out your flail and go to town at that bitch. And continue the beatings until the problem is resolved.

permalink
report
reply
28 points

Elephant. It’s definitely an elephant

More like a blue whale, really.

permalink
report
parent
reply
17 points

Thought they were joking about Republicans

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

I thought it was a joke about the size of the problem.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Now get out your flail and go to town at that bitch.

Kinky

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Serious question: If the american health care system (which may be the most prominent thing stopping migration currently) would become a socialized-financed commodity how much %GDP would America loose?

permalink
report
parent
reply
22 points
*

Probably none, because the people wouldn’t go bankrupt because of a broken leg and be able to spend the money and be able to keep spending money on something worthwhile instead. Breaking people’s necks financially by means of medical bills is not a great thing in the long run for the economy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

America spends the most on healthcare already, it’s ludicrous

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

The current healthcare is a net loss for the country. The only people losing money would be private medical industry, and its share holders, but it wouldn’t off set the losses caused by the crushing expenses, and bankruptcies as far as the general GDP is concerned.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

I don’t speak the language, but my guess is that the Portuguese equivalent of “beating a dead horse” uses a dog instead?

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
*

in pt-br: chutando cachorro morto

literal translation: beating a dead dog

in pt-pt: bater no ceguinho

literal translation: beating the little blind person

Yup you guessed it right.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

JFC

permalink
report
parent
reply
39 points
*

That’s why I don’t travel to the US even though I’ve only been to Hawaii so far. Food is a huge problem, either you poison your body with chemicals or you’ll have the most stressful time of the day eating because of the waiter nagging you every two minutes if you like your food or want anything. Because they think that constitutes “good service”. No other country’s restaurant culture is like this, wtf??

permalink
report
reply
8 points

Give

Me

More

Drink

Refills

Or I’ll watch your children starve.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Seriously I’m here to spend money. My drink being empty is waste on your business’ part. For a minute or two, sure.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

either you poison your body with chemicals

One huge reason why I’m considering getting out. My immune system is very angry because of this.

nagging you every two minutes

I make no apologies for anyone on this: we lost our way. My best guess is that at some point, we had this down pat by bringing a “touch of class” to dining establishments through emulating servant culture of the early 1900’s. This is well portrayed in costume drama as near-psychic level ability to anticipate the diner’s (master’s) needs in a well-choreographed experience. That only works if you can anticipate people through a long-term working relationship, or diners have very well-rehearsed table manners. I think it got corrupted over time as a lot of this fell out fashion, and what we’re left with is diners that are wholly unpredictable and wait staff that have no idea what they’re emulating.

Local Korean restaurants around town brought their dining culture with them, and it’s loads better. Wait staff have their head on a swivel from the waiter’s station, but only engage when flagged down. This is immeasurably more pleasant.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Would you like another glass of ice cubes?

permalink
report
parent
reply
32 points

Don’t forget mass shootings!

permalink
report
reply
20 points

Part of a healthy USA education

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

If you survive elementary school.

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points
*

why not, they forget mass shootings immediately after they happen.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Sorry, what happened now?

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
*

NOTHING!

absolutely nothing happened more than 250+ times this year so far, 70+ times this month and 5 times this week alone, even though the week has barely started…

nothing happened, everything is fine, move along.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Hopes and prayers?

permalink
report
parent
reply
0 points

Brazil has >3x the murder rate of the US. I get that dunking on the US is super fun but theres a gulf separating the two countries

permalink
report
parent
reply
0 points

Was… Brazil mentioned??

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

It’s in the original picture in the first paragraph

permalink
report
parent
reply
21 points

Not really clever. And as this is posted in a .UK, I’d like to remind you all that the UK isn’t doing too well, and they’re the laughing stock of the EU.

Enjoy Brexit!

permalink
report
reply
19 points

As as EU citizen I have zero interest in moving to the UK.

But I would still much much rather live in the UK than the US.
That country is straight up fucked on a fundemental level.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Well, it’s because of the fundies. ;)

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points
*
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

It could be worse. Russia lost many of its highly skilled workers who fled the country, while their criminal vets now exact retribution if they lived though the meat grinder.

China has a massive gender imbalance and has a yawning generation gap that cannot be filled. Not to mention an economy that will take serious gymnastics to fix.

Some others like Iran are trending in a slightly better direction, but are far from free and brutally repress anyone that speaks out.

Despite our struggles, everything we have is worth fighting for. Remember to vote! It’s what separates us from authoritarians and managed democracy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I briefly considered moving to Toronto, because I loved the time I spent there a decade or so ago. Then I saw the cost of both renting and owning there, and couldn’t believe it. I’m in a very privileged position, but fuck me I wonder how many manage to raise a family there!

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points
*
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

I feel your pain. I hope you are able to turn that around. I like Canada. 🇨🇦

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Bit mean considering you are our guest. You may as well just throw in a jab at our teeth.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Modern medical advancements take time to come to former world powers. You’ll get there some day!! ;)

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Ouch! 4th degree burns.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Don’t worry, Brexit is a self-fixing problem.

Mostly old and poorly educated vote for Brexit -> UK leaves EU -> skilled EU citizens with no personal commitments to UK (family, spouse, wanting to not return to previous country anyway) will leave including doctors, nurses, and elderly care staff -> NHS struggles -> care homes struggle -> old people die off faster -> ratio of young to old voters rebalances -> in 20 years time vote to rejoin EU -> rejoins EU.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Isn’t doing too well because of 14 years of Tories. Who have just been removed from power and replaced by what looks like, so far, quite a competent Labour government. Devolution of more powers is being looked at, and both left and right wing parties are talking about proportional representation. We’ll see what happens, but I’m optimistic about our future.

America, on the other hand…

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Say it. America is about to become The Handmaids Tale. I know.

How do you feel about skilled worker immigration? 😇

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

They’re the last of the Murdoch Three, c’mon dudes, hat trick the right wing annihilation.

permalink
report
parent
reply
20 points

The murder rate in the USA is very high compared to its peers, at 6.383 per 100,000. Canada, for example, has a rate which is almost three times lower at 2.273 per 100,000.

Brazil has a murder rate of 20.606 per 100,000. I think I’ll stick with our tipping culture and lack of public health system.

permalink
report
reply
14 points

Or maybe check out Canada instead

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Pretty sure Brazilian GINI is higher than US even. Not a good comparison. But most of Europe is better than us, we rank with the former Soviet Slavic countries in terms of HDI when adjusted for GINI. Canada as you mentioned, probably Australia.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Thank goodness this was downvoted! It’s so offensive. Or something. 🙄

Why so high here vs. Canadia?

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points
*

That’s an interesting question. People like to blame guns, but

The United States’ homicide rate of 3.8 is clearly higher than that of eg France (1.0), Germany (0.8), Australia (1.1), or Canada (1.4). However, as per the FBI, only 11,208 of our 16,121 murders were committed with firearms, eg 69%. By my calculations, that means our nonfirearm murder rate is 1.2. In other words, our non-firearm homicide rate alone is higher than France, Germany, and Australia’s total homicide rate.

That’s from here, which is an interesting but long discussion of the topic:

https://slatestarcodex.com/2016/01/06/guns-and-states/

https://slatestarcodex.com/2016/01/10/guns-and-states-2-son-of-a-gun/

Edit: I’m not saying guns aren’t part of the explanation, but they don’t appear to account for the majority of the difference.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Ah, SSC. I was going to make a joke about how it’ll get blamed on black people Human Biodiversity, but Scott actually does

And this is murder rate by state correlated with percent black population:

This would seem to support the “culture of violence” theory.

permalink
report
parent
reply
0 points

I think it mostly has to do with all the brain damaging chemicals in our water, soil, and air.

permalink
report
parent
reply
-1 points

A massive percentage of yous have been huffing leaded petrol fumes almost directly from exhausts for decades and yous are still wondering why you’re a bunch of murderous warmongering cunts? 😂

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

I’m brazilian and I was never murdered (joke)

permalink
report
parent
reply
0 points

I’d say something about throwing stones in glass houses but most brazilians can’t seem to afford glass windows.

permalink
report
parent
reply
-7 points

20.606 per 100,000

Bro either you converted something wrong or you’re saying a fifth of the population dies every year because of murders

permalink
report
parent
reply
30 points

I’m using the notation where a period indicates a decimal and a comma separates three digits. The murder rate is twenty and six tenths per one hundred thousand.

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

Wait. I use that notation. Don’t mind me

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

MEAT FOR THE MEAT CUBE

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply

Clever Comebacks

!clevercomebacks@feddit.uk

Create post

Posts of clever comebacks in response to someone.

Rules:

  1. Be civil and remember the human. No name calling or insults. Swearing is allowed but when used to insult someone.
  2. Discussion is encouraged, but only in good faith. No arguing for arguments sake.
  3. No bigotry of any kind.
  4. Censor names/identifying info of everyone who isn’t a public figure.
  5. If you break the rules you’ll receive one warning before you’re banned.
  6. Enjoy this community in the light hearted manner it’s intended.

Community stats

  • 3

    Monthly active users

  • 33

    Posts

  • 816

    Comments