22 points

We milk it for all it’s worth, but this is nowhere as unusual or funny as a prime minister fucking a dead pig’s head.

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also that one actually happened which makes it even funnier

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10 points

so the couch stuff is all just a bit based on that one couchfucking tweet about JD’s book? amazing

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7 points

well we cant definitively prove he never fucked a couch…

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yeah i think so

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9 points

most young men have an embarrassing masturbation story or two but usually we TAKE IT TO THE GRAVE

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i won’t. fingered myself with peppermint shampoo at my aunts house. she’s dead now so i’m free to tell hexbear.

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4 points

hahahaha, if it makes you feel any better almost every young guy has pulled one off in the shower with soap. ever gotten soap in the pee-hole? like really in there? its a mild chemical burn.

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6 points

David Cameron?

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15 points

I’m going to Lathe into existence a republican party skit that’s just a scene for scene reproduction of the Rick James bit.

Trump gets a blood clot from his ear injury because he ignores basic medical advice.

JD Vance doesn’t want to swear, so he says “screw your couch”

He over uses the joke, but on Halloween he gets his wife to dress as two couch cushions and he takes the election in a landslide.

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13 points

But I want whatever would be more painful for Hillary Clinton.

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