A 6-month-old boy died after being left for hours in a hot car in Louisiana, authorities said.
The baby was found dead in the backseat by his parent at about 5:46 p.m. Tuesday, according to the East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Office.
When the parent went to pick up the baby from day care after work, they realized they forgot to drop him off at day care that morning, the sheriff’s office said.
Every time this happens, I am reminded of this Pulitzer prize-winning article.
It can happen to anyone, but a large majority will never believe that. It’s a heart-rending situation.
Ah that article, that scared me shitless when I first read it while my wife was pregnant. A single “oops” that really doesn’t just fuck a person up, it ruins their entire life.
“Death by hyperthermia” is the official designation. When it happens to young children, the facts are often the same: An otherwise loving and attentive parent one day gets busy, or distracted, or upset, or confused by a change in his or her daily routine, and just… forgets a child is in the car. It happens that way somewhere in the United States 15 to 25 times a year, parceled out through the spring, summer and early fall. The season is almost upon us.
If you ever accidentally left food in the microwave for a few hours, this could be you with children.
Anyways here’s the archive org link since the primary link is paywalled.
Thinks back to the time I made a giant russet baked potato and forgot about it until the same time the next day when I reheated something from the fridge and wondered why it was still cold after several minutes on high… only to find the dried remains of a flayed potato hiding underneath a paper towel. I set the second plate on top of it without even realizing it was still in there.
One of the many reasons I will not be having children. I forget my tea steeping like 80% of the time. I don’t need a life in my hands
I hear you, but as a fellow scatterbrain, the solution is that your shoe goes next to the car seat before you load it. Or something else, but a shoe is pretty hard to forget.
Having gone through what is essentially sleep deprivation torture when raising twins, I believe this and the guilt would be unimaginable.
A friend was taking a walk with her daughter, she called her from the other side of the street. She didn’t see the car coming though. The daughter ran over the street and was killed by the car.
She couldn’t see the car, because the parked cars were bigger and blocked the view.
An unfortunate accident, but she never got over it. It’s been 30 years, but she’s as devastated as before.
From the bottom of my soul, FUCK big cars. Our cars are so much bigger than they need to be, and they legitimately ruin lives with their size and blindspots.
You would not believe the downvotes I’ve gotten for saying this exact thing. I’m not a parent, but I do take the time to really consider what having to care for an infant would be like. I have been sleep deprived (edit: though, nowhere near the level of a new parent) so I perfectly understand how you could unintentionally cause the death of your kid. I think the hypothetical I gave was something like
You’re out running errands with the baby on your day off while the spouse is at work. You got maybe 4 hours of sleep between getting up to feed and change, and you’re lifting and carrying and running around all day. You stop home to drop off some shopping, you even leave the car running because you’ll be right out. Quick plop on the couch just to rest your legs and back, and then suddenly it’s five hours later and you start awake remembering you left the car running… and the baby in the car.
I know the terror I feel from that little hypothetical, I can’t believe it doesn’t hit close to home with actual parents too. And then, to be held socially - even if not legally - liable on top of your own guilt… an awful, horrible, soul-chilling situation to contemplate. I wish there were more compassion for new parents, I’d bet it’s more common than we think that parents’ bodies just shut down from the strain.
I thought I understood the sleep deprivation until I became a dad. The part most people don’t account for is the chronic nature of it. It’s not 1 night, or even a few, it’s weeks and months of it. It’s also combined with having your hormones thrown for a loop (yes, men too!). It jams your brain in ways you would never expect.
It’s so easy to screw up that badly that I’m amazed at how infrequent it actually is.
I would believe it. People here are absolute fucking idiots about situations they think they would be perfect in, and never understand how mistakes/sleep deprivation/routine disruption happen.
It’s like the adage about security: blue has to get it right every single day, red has to get it right once.
Sleep deprivation is no joke and doesn’t take many nights at all. A while back, the worst upstairs neighbors on the planet woke me every night, multiple times a night. My cognitive function definitely suffered.
I hope those neighbors are miserable wherever they ended up. They deserve it. I asked them multiple times with decreasing politeness to not slam doors or fling objects around at 3 AM.
I was going to be dropping my son off at daycare before work (something I usually didn’t do), and my normal routine was to stop at Wawa for breakfast. I stopped, got out, grabbed my breakfast, got back in, and only then remembered that he was in the back. He had been VERY uncharacteristically quiet prior, and I was tired, and I just… forgot he was in the back.
It caused absolutely no harm (I was only in the Wawa for 5-10 min), but it was a very sobering moment. I can definitely understand how it happens.
Piggybacking your comment to say that this kinda shit would happen a lot less if we had mandatory maternity/paternity leave.
To a much less serious degree it happened to me/my daughter. Brought her in one winter in her car seat and set her down next to my bed with her coat still on. Instantly fell asleep on the bed for at least an hour. When I came to she was drenched in sweat. Obviously panicked and got her out but she seemed unfazed, stretched a little, and went back to sleep. Still feel bad years later.
I’m reminded of this short story
Ah yes! That way my kid can definitely die of hyperthermia in my arms walking 5 miles to the grocery in 100°F instead of almost certainly not dying in my car.
Lol this doesn’t happen.
Edit: just Google child heat stroke—the cases all involve kids trapped in vehicles. Heat stroke for young, healthy people in the outdoor environment is not difficult to avoid. It usually occurs when people are forced to do intense physical labor without rest. It’s not happening while you’re walking with your kid to school or daycare or whatever.
Cars are much more dangerous to children than walking is. There is a mountain of evidence to support this.
It’s amazing how the smallest routine deviations can change things.
I once put my 1 year old in the car seat before loading the rest of the stuff into the car. My kid has always hated being constrained, so I didn’t bother buckling the seat belt, as I figured there’d be more joy in being able to reach and play with toys while I loaded the car.
All went well, we got underway, and upon arriving at our destination I realized I never actually did up the safety restraints.
Holy shit
I thought
If I’d gotten in an accident in the last 30m of driving, my kid probably would have died
What a shock and brutal realization to have.
Many people have complemented me on my parenting, complemented me on my nurturing and caring attitude towards my kid and other children too. I’d like to think I’m a good father…but the momentary lapse I had could have ended a life and ruined so many more.
Yes, it can happen to anyone. I feel nothing but sympathy for the parents who have lost a child this way.
While not every parent who loses a child this way is a good person, people like Lyn Balfour have demonstrated that many of the parents responsible for these cases are good people who simply had a momentary lapse in attention that resulted in the worse mistake of their entire life.
I think that it is not for the public to judge them, and it’s not appropriate to publically shame parents who have been through a tragedy like this.
Those parents will be forever haunted by the waxy face of their dead child, will see other children playing in parks, and remember what their child looked like the last time they saw their remains, will remember how beautiful and vibrant their baby was - and know that it’s their fault that the child is forever gone.
I think that’s punishment enough.
When my oldest was about 1, I buckled him in, but didn’t realize the carseat wasn’t buckled in.
About a mile down the road, I turned and we went tumbling across the car in his car seat. It was completely upside down by the end.
The only thing that kept me calm was that he was cackling with laughter. He thought it was the funniest thing. Never made thay mistake again!
There have been other suggestions in the thread how to avoid ending up in this situation that I think are good, like put your work bag or purse in the back seat too, or if you’re really concerned, take off your non-driving shoe and put it back there.
Kidsandcars.org does great work too, and clearly the message is getting thru to auto manufacturers too.
My boss has a new ford ranger, it reminds him to check the back seat if it detects weight. There are lots of ways to prevent this happening to you, figure out what makes the most sense for you and go with it.
Also, you’re going to be a great parent. I don’t know how I know this, I just do.
Also terrified of the same with my 9 month old, but you’re right, my Ioniq also gives a reminder to check the back when the driver door is opened if the rear doors had opened prior to the drive. I hope I won’t need it but it is nice to have.
It’s the lack of REM sleep that really fucks you up. Those first months and years are brutal. I suggest making a habit of something that pulls you out of auto pilot. It can be as simple as a phrase like ‘‘close the door, check the kid’’ or ‘‘turn off the engine check the back seat’’ if it’s a habit, it will reenforce what your doing even when you haven’t had a solid 8hrs in almost a year. Also, if you have a partner, it can be a good idea, when possible, to switch night duty on baby so you can recharge, but honestly, it’s impossible if you can ever hear the baby fuss your animal instincts shoot you right up.
All went well, we got underway, and upon arriving at our destination I realized I never actually did up the safety restraints.
This happened with my youngest once. I forget what lead up to it (this was 16-17 years ago), he might have climbed into his seat on his own or something that deviated me from my routine, but as we were driving he said something about his buckles, and his sister, sitting next to me started yelling at me because I forgot to buckle him.
i was a toddler in the 70’s. i was never put in a child seat. i distinctly remember crawling around in the floorboard and watching the streetlights go past from a lying position. i’m glad i have those memories instead of being put in restraints every time i was ferried around. we were even in a car wreck once and i got thrown around a little bit. got a few cuts on my hand and that was it.
but i don’t have kids so i don’t worry about any of that shit.
i’m not sure if there was a point to this other than to be amused at yall for freaking out over everything.
I once lit a cigarette, but it didnt stay lit. So i guess that means that everyone who lights a cigarette has to light it twice…
Except that it doesnt and my experience put me in a minority that day.
Thats why we dont use anecdotes as evidence of facts.
People are right to be concerned about safety when the evidence shows that not being concerned causes more deaths despite there being some lucky idiots out there.
God, that’s the ultimate nightmare scenario. Fucking up so bad it costs the life of your child, and it seems like no one will understand how you could have fucked it up and you’re too overwhelmed with guilt and sadness to not defend yourself but to try to make people understand how this could have happened. You’re no longer you to yourself, you’re the monster responsible for your childs death. There’s no way I could live with myself after that, though I do have suicidal thoughts at the drop of a hat
I probably wouldn’t be able to live if I caused this.
I’m gonna add this here in case it helps anyone else.
A friend of mine uses a long dog leash to prevent her from forgetting her kid in the car. She uses the handle end with a loop and ties that end to the carseat and then attaches the hook end to her belt loop or purse. Now she can’t leave the car without acknowledging the carseat.
She just leaves the dog leash attached to car seat all the time and attaches it to herself when she puts on her seatbelt.
I thought it was a great solution that doesn’t involve removing shoes or buying a new car with seat sensors. Hope this helps someone else, or at least gives them peace of mind if they choose this method.
Yeah this is so incredibly sad, if I had come back to my car and realised that my own preventable negligence had caused my child not just to die, but to die so needlessly, so carelessly and so awfully I’m not sure how I would cope. How could you possibly go on with that on your shoulders? It would utterly crush me…and rightly so. That parent/those parents are awful awful people. This should not be anywhere near possible.
Edit: upon reading other comments, I’ve reflected on my own comment on the parents and have slightly changed my view; personally I think the gravity of the mistake outweighs everything else they have done in life no matter how good and so my statement on the balance of things is probably true, imo. However it is not something that needed to be said and nor is it a comment on the type of person/people they were up until, and after this.
If you have children (and your vehicle has this feature) make sure you have the back seat reminder turned on. We all have temporary lapses that usually have little consequence, and this could literally save a life
If your car doesn’t have this, you can put one of the shoes you’re wearing in the back seat with the child… You will not walk away with one shoe.
The thing is, each day with a child in your care there’s an infinite number of low chance / high consequence “risks” you need to navigate.
If you tried to mitigate all of them, you’d spend all day observing these weird “one shoe” type rituals, which isn’t much of a life for you or the child.
We certainly need to be responsible parents, but in doing so we balance risk mitigation against simply living our best life.
So there is a feature that is put in a vehicle so people remember that their kids are in the vehicle with them?
What the actual fuck?
Being a new parent while also having to work 40+ hours a week is draining and turns you into a zombie.
Child seats are supposed to face backwards and kids often fall asleep in the car so if you get distracted and thrown off your normal routine, it is extremely easy to not notice they are there especially if you are sleep deprived. So yes, there is a feature in newer cars that can alert you that there is extra weight or movement in the back seat.
You don’t think consequences can come from a temporary memory lapse? Please explain?
It seems that my meaning was misunderstood. The term “temporary memory lapse” sounds like it’s downplaying the severity of the consequences ( to me anyway) and putting it on par with, “Sorry I didn’t call you on your birthday, I totally forgot.” “Oh shoot, I left the ice cream in the car and it melted.”
