My parents are 57 and 63. My mother is erratic, forgetful, and when she gets mad she sometimes screams and throws things. My father is slowly going deaf, getting slower and more stubborn and forgetful as well. They can be infuriating sometimes, but I know that they’re aging and I can’t be mad at them. How do I deal with this, especially early on in preparation for further down the road?
Speaking as a 57 year old, it seems odd that they’re both having cognitive problems. As you might guess, most of my friends are around my age and literally zero of them are in any kind of decline like that.
Out of curiosity, do your parents have a carbon monoxide monitor in their home? IANAD but it’s my understanding that long term, low level CO poisoning can lead to symptoms like you’re describing.
Simple iron deficiency can also lead to rapid mental decline, and is very easily remedied.
Yeah that’s the part that jumps out of this scenario. 57 and 63 is generally way too young to be seeing significant age related cognitive decline. Both of them having worsening cognition + worsening mood problems sure sounds like an environmental toxin. Lead poisoning is a likely culprit. I would get them to a doctor to test them for heavy metals and other common harmful environmental materials.
Yeah, OP really ought to consider whether they’re having medical issues. As I started reading the description, I was expecting to chime in based on similar situation with my Mom. I love her very much but she can be frustrating to deal with, for similar reasons.
… then OP gave the age. I’m 57. My Mom is 83 having these issues
This should be top comment. My wife and I are similar ages, and many of my employees are as old or older - I’ve never known anyone with that kind of decline around 60. If it was just one parent, I’d suspect early onset dementia, but two at the same time? Something is going on there.
57 and 63 screaming and throwing things forgetful … infuriating
Folks shouldn’t be forgetting so much it affects their lives at this point. Nor screaming and throwing things. Oof man, genetics are a bitch, get them care (at least checked out) and then get yourself setup as well.
Treat them how you would wish to be treated when you are old, forgetful, stubborn, deaf, and slower. Getting old can suck. It’s angering. It hurts. They are humans with emotions. Don’t forget that.
if they have helped their son to raise sooner on his feet and could afford to live by himself , he could have been at least remotely able to make their life a smooth sail…but when u stuck living with them and has to deal with their shenanigans with nothing significant to expect in return in the future then thats the infuriarating part
He never said he isn’t capable of paying rent or wants to live away from his parents. Even then they are parents, you can’t just neglect their problems because you don’t have to deal with it. Unless your parents were terrible and you genuinely hate them, take care of them even if it’s only visiting once in a while.
it took two to take care of one person. it took only 10 years for me to become almost autonomous, but still only financially dependant. i cant as a single person take care of two people, not only 10 years, but basically 30 years or how long they will last while becoming more vegetable. at least i was a vegetable for the first 4 years…the nerve of some people…personal responsability…what does it even have with all of this ?
I keep seeing comments along the lines of calling OP’s parents “elderly”, but early 60s are barely reaching retirement age. They shouldn’t be having such cognitive impairments…
