Because you need regular, low-intensity interaction. Desensitize yourself purposefully to being around people and this will cease to be a problem.
Swimming in public pools works. Your body stops reading children expressing joy as an alert. And just regular crowd noises stop being an anxious trigger. Then it becomes easier to just be around others.
Or just try walking around in a busy mall regularly to get used to people in public places
It depends on your life situation and it’s not something you can just press a button to fix, but on the other hand it’s not going to get better if you ignore it. Things that may help depending on your circumstance:
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Therapy
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Taking an in-person class or joining a club
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If you already have nearby friends, start a regular game night
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Visit a ‘third space’ at a consistent time weekly, e.g. coffee shop, bar, library, gym (note: the point is not to practice pickup lines, it’s to get used to being around people. If you go regularly, you’ll start to feel comfortable with the other regulars)
There are more and I would be interested in hearing if the ones above don’t work. I am a pure introvert who kind of lucked my way into a relationship. I still would be happy on a desert island forever but I can recognize that human connection gives me a reason to perform maintenance on my flesh prison, keeps my mental acuity up to stave off the inevitable dementia, and provides a different perspective on reality when I get stuck in a rut.
I want to reiterate that this is not a ‘fix’, but a process of self improvement. Particularly in the beginning, it’ll be mostly unpleasant and hard to stick with. If it’s working, you will be exposed to uncomfortable realities that you will have to process. After you have been doing it awhile, though, you’ll start to have small wins that can snowball into being the person you want to be.
N.b. I went through this process in my early 20s, so lots of alcohol and hard drugs were involved and made the process easier or maybe harder than it would have been otherwise. I have managed to get appropriately medicated now and probably would approach things differently if I had to do it over again, but the point is to consider ways to work around your personal brain chemistry early on. Maybe anxiety medication, ADHD meds, or just exercise. Obviously your mileage may vary but these are things that can be tried in some cases.
Visit a ‘third space’ at a consistent time weekly, e.g. coffee shop, bar, library, gym (note: the point is not to practice pickup lines, it’s to get used to being around people. If you go regularly, you’ll start to feel comfortable with the other regulars)
Level 1: Go outside Level 2: Go outside regularly Level 3: Respond to interactions Level 4: Initiate interactions Level 5: Make friends
I wish I could get to Level 2 at least.
Alcohol is not a solution it’s a crutch, you’re not going to get better at social interaction by getting drunk. Yes it helps take the edge of but that edge will never stay full and when you go without alcohol you’re starting from scratch because all those other times you weren’t training your muscles but instead leaning on a crutch.
What you suggest is a gateway to dependency
See the problem with this is I currently can’t drink alcohol because of Wegovy.
Not that it like will kill me, just that I have absolutely no idea how 1 drink will affect me. It’s like quantum boozing, I will not feel it at all or for about 15 minutes I’m going to be drunker than I ever remember.
Or do the opposite, immersion therapy.
Pour superglue over yourself and glomp the next person you see. After two weeks, you’ll be used to being around other people
You’re lonely but mask around people. It’s exhausting.
Well, I even manage to feel lonely while I am with others
Man, I miss rif
It no longer working is basically the entire reason I’m here now. I paid $2 for “rif golden platinum” while sitting in an A&W back in 2013 and absolutely got my money’s worth from that purchase. The mobile Reddit experience is such utter misery in comparison it baffles me that anyone uses it at all.
I wish. I would be cute at least. But I only get to be antisocial :(
