I get basically nowhere without kissing. Talking and touching don’t really do it for me without the kissing. Even just a little polite peck gets the blood flowing.

Random acts of blowjob are the rare late night exception that prove the rule.

Today she was in a darker mood so we simply cuddled and kissed, just holding tight and being supportive, that’s all we needed. An hour later we fired off several mighty orgasms.

Trust and being close and open to each other sets the mood. Tender and affectionate kissing then stirs the hormones, and off we take.

Oral sex and masturbation are sex. To consider them as foreplay is to make penetration (and incidentally, male orgasm) the apha and omega of intercourse.

And to answer the question: mutual expression of desire and consent, and skin-to-skin contact. Exploring each other’s bodies with hands and lips.

I need to feel safe and comfortable in someone’s company. When I know I don’t have to have sex and there’s no pressure, that’s when I feel free to be sexual.

I do like massages, touch and as others have said kissing – but I do like when a guy is patient with me. That always helps tremendously to be relaxed and be myself with him.

It can be as simple as having a stressful day and looking for closeness and release. Sometimes we get each other going with some sexting. Both of us are turned on rather easily by each other. I’m not sure we have ever been able to just cuddle or give a massage without going at it like crazy people shortly afterwards.